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Writing Samples
Band 8

The chart and graph below give information about three categories of workers in Australia and the unemployment levels within those groups. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart and graph below give information about three categories of workers in Australia and the unemployment levels within those groups. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The pie graph displays information about the workforce in
Australia
Use synonyms
 based on their origin of birth in 2003, and the line graph illustrates the number of people who are not working depending on their place of birth between 1993 and 2003.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
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 the highest number of workers were born in
Australia
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.
While
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 the majority of unemployed were born in non-speaking
countries
Use synonyms
 other than
Australia
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 the pie chart, in 2003, 10% of employees were born in
Australia
Use synonyms
,
whereas
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 10% were born in non-speaking
countries
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 other than
Australia
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.
However
Linking Words
, the place of birth for 14% of workers was in English-speaking
countries
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in 1993, around 7% of people who did not work in
Australia
Use synonyms
 were originally from non-speaking
countries
Use synonyms
 other than
Australia
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, the percentage witnessed a decrease of around 3% , in 1998, after that, it had a fluctuation in numbers until 2003 to back again about 3%. Unemployment in
Australia
Use synonyms
 was 4% in 1993, but the numbers experienced a decrease to reach 2% in 2003. People who did not work from English-Speaking
countries
Use synonyms
 were almost 4%, in 1993, which dropped dramatically to around 1% in 2003.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words australia, countries with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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