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Band 3.5

In today’s job market it is far more important to have practical skills than theoretical knowledge. In the future, job applicants may not need any formal qualifications. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#today’s #job #market #skills #future #applicants #qualifications
In today's globalised
world
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world,
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 some consider that work experience is more crucial,
others
Correct word choice
while others
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 believe
person
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a person
the person
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 should
to
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apply
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know theoretical
knowledge
. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both sides of
this
 argument and I will include my point of view. On the one hand, nowadays, big companies prefer to hire
employee
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an employee
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 who has more work experience. Because,
according to
economical
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economic
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 experts, It will take
long
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a long
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 time to teach new staff. The
corporatin
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corporation
corporations
 do not want to lose time.
Moreover
, people who have practical skills finish work
more
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apply
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earlier rather than new
one
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ones
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.
The employers
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Employers
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 are not interested in
to hire
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hiring
show examples
 unemployed
works
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workers
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,
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apply
show examples
 because they will get the same salary as professionals.
On the other hand
, some professions demand theoretical
knowledge
.
Thus
, people should absorb scientific information.
For instance
, I think the main responsible job is
doctor
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a doctor
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. They have to learn at universities,
after
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and after
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then
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that
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 doctors can gain practical skills.
Moreover
,
withougt
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without
 knowing
human
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the human
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 body they can not cure people.
Additionally
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
doctors study at universities more than other professions. From
it
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it,
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 we can
cansume
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consume
 that theoretical
knowledge
 is more important.
To sum up
, all mentioned
above
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apply
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practical skills
is
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are
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 important and big companies prefer experienced workers,
by
contrast
Add the comma(s)
contrast,
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 theoretical
knowledge
 is
also
 important for some professions
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
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 doctors.
Submitted by nargiz.nagiyeva0101 on

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task achievement
Ensure to elaborate more on your points with specific examples. For instance, discussing other professions that require theoretical knowledge besides doctors could strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the flow of your sentences. There are some grammatical mistakes and awkward phrasing which can disrupt the flow. For example, 'others believe person should to know theoretical knowledge' should be 'others believe people should have theoretical knowledge.'
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both sides, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You provided a balanced view on the topic, discussing both practical skills and theoretical knowledge.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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