IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employee. What, in your opinion, should be the main function of a university?

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Introduction
In the job places few of the masses
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
 that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
educational
institution
Fix the agreement mistake
institutions
show examples
 can
be provide
Change the verb form
provide
show examples
knowledge
Use synonyms
 and
skills
Use synonyms
 to their graduates and
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 community
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
show examples
 that the course is useful if the students
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 the ability to
knowledge
Use synonyms
 for their own
benefits
Fix the agreement mistake
benefit
show examples
. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 the
universities
Use synonyms
 should provide them
enough
Add the preposition
with enough
show examples
knowledge
Use synonyms
 to know about their
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 properly.
Body paragraph 1
First of all,
Universities
Use synonyms
educations
Fix the agreement mistake
education
show examples
 can
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
 us that who we are. Without proper
education
Use synonyms
, we
can
Rephrase
cannot
show examples
 prosper in our
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
, that's the reason we need a proper
education
Use synonyms
. In
Use synonyms
universities
Add a comma
universities,
show examples
 they give us that proper
education
Use synonyms
. In our workplace, we need
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
enough
skills
Use synonyms
 and
knowledge
Use synonyms
. If we don't have that
knowledge
Use synonyms
 and
skills
Use synonyms
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
 it will be difficult for us to get a job. So,
universities
Use synonyms
 should
be take
Change the verb form
take
show examples
this
Linking Words
responsibilites
Correct your spelling
responsibility
responsibilities
.
Body paragraph 2
Change preposition
In
show examples
On
Change preposition
In
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the others opinion
Change to a genitive case
the opinion of the other
the other's opinion
show examples
,
Universities
Use synonyms
 should teach
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
our
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ethical
Fix the agreement mistake
morals
show examples
moral
Fix the agreement mistake
morals
show examples
 and better know the courses which may be
Replace the word
beneficial
show examples
benefits
Replace the word
beneficial
show examples
 in our workplace. In
Univeristy
Correct your spelling
university
, we learn many things,
such
Linking Words
 as
which
Correct pronoun usage
what
show examples
 is good and
which
Correct pronoun usage
what
show examples
 is bad in our
life
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
universities
Fix the agreement mistake
university
show examples
grauates
Correct your spelling
graduates
 should
be learn
Change the verb form
learn
show examples
 basic ethics, which is very important
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their regular
life
Use synonyms
 and course might
be help
Change the verb form
help
show examples
 them to know about these issues. In
universities
Use synonyms
knowledge
Use synonyms
 and
skilles
Correct your spelling
skills
 make the
graduates
Change to a genitive case
graduate's
graduates'
show examples
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 better and secure.
Conclusion
In Conclusion, I will promote the first opinion. In the
education
Use synonyms
institution
Fix the agreement mistake
institutions
show examples
, they should
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
teach the
gradutes
Correct your spelling
graduates
 the basic
knowledge
Use synonyms
 and
skills
Use synonyms
 in their job places. Graduates can
be learn
Change the verb form
learn
show examples
 their
moral
Fix the agreement mistake
morals
show examples
 and ethics in their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
 and their parents
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 the responsibility to take
this
Linking Words
 but in university, they should give outside
knowledge
Use synonyms
 and give them enough
skills
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Try to be more specific in your arguments and examples. Using real-life situations or more concrete examples can make your arguments stronger and more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your essay better. Clear paragraphing and a logical progression of ideas help the reader follow your argument easily. Use transitional phrases to connect your points more smoothly.
language accuracy
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and sentence structure. Work on using complex sentences correctly and avoid common grammatical errors. This will help you convey your ideas more clearly and professionally.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction and a conclusion, which is important for coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
You addressed both perspectives on the issue, showing that you understand the complexity of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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