The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

#show #percentage #water #purposes #six #areas #world #summarise #information #features #comparisons

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The graphics show the data on

water

Use synonyms

applications for various purposes in six

areas

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of the world.

Overall

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, the way

water

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is being used in North

America

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and Europe seems similar, which applies to a majority of industries,

while

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the least is used in households.

In addition

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, it is evident that other

areas

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consume a high proportion of

water

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, over half of it in agriculture.

To begin

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with,

water

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used in industry accounts for 48% and 53% of the consumption in North

America

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and Europe, respectively.

However

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, agricultural development is

also

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vital to these

areas

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, where

water

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used in the field accounts for over a quarter. As for domestic consumption, are both less than 20%. Regarding the rest of the

areas

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water

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is used in a similar proportion, which emphasizes agricultural development, which accounts for over 80% except for South

America

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. The proportion of domestic use in South

America

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is double that in the other three

areas

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while

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agricultural consumption shows 71%.

Submitted by vsunnloe147 on Fri May 31 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, areas, america with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

162 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

water consumption
agricultural, industrial, domestic
usage patterns
developed vs developing regions
irrigation systems
climate factors
percentage breakdown
water management
sustainability
residential water use
efficiency
charts comparison
water-intensive
water scarcity
resource allocation
desalination

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Certainly, let's enhance the essay to potentially achieve a Band 9 in IELTS Writing:

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents choosing to self-educate their children at home rather than sending them to school. Do the advantages of home education outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people feel that entertainers (e.g., film stars, pop musicians or sport stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? which other types of job should be highly paid?

In some countries unemployment is high, so some people think that children should only go to primary school and not to secondary school because, they will not be able to find jobs in the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?