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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

the charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevent.

the charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevent.
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pie charts bellow demonstrate the proportion of used
water
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 for various purposes in six different regions all around the world.
Overall
Linking Words
,it is noticeable that domestic
usage
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 is lower than the other two mentioned purposes.two different patterns are shown in the charts,in the first one farming and planting take the majority
while
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 in the second one factories.
According to
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 charts,in Europe and North
America
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America,
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 industries demand almost half of existed
water
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 ,
also
Linking Words
 domestic
usage
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 of
water
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 in these two areas like others contains the lowest percentage.
On the other hand
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 , patterns for the other four lands are approximately the same and the only difference is in the percentage of domestic and industrial
usage
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. in southeast
Asia
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,central
Asia
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 and Africa more than 80 % of
water
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 is for farming . in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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south-east
Asia
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 and central
Asia
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, houses consume less
water
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 in comparison with other mentioned regions with just 7 % of
water
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usage
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 .

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, usage, asia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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