The chart below show percentages of water used in different sectors in Sydney, Australia in 1997 and 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#show #percentages #water #sectors #sydney #australia #summarise #information #features #comparisons

The graph demonstrates how much carbon

sioxide

Correct your spelling

dioxide

each person emits in the United Kingdom,

Sweden

, Italy and Portugal from 1967 to 2007.

Overall

it is clear that

while

the United

kingdom

Capitalize word

Kingdom

show examples

and

Sweden

saw a decline in

this

matter, that

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Italy and Portugal rose gradually. Focusing on the UK and

Sweden

, the former one showed a slight decline in CO2 emissions per person, with

strating

Correct your spelling

starting

at well above 10

tonnes

in 1967 and commencing at nearly 9

tonnes

in 2007.

However

, the decrement for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Sweden

was more dramatic and incorporated some fluctuations in the first decade as CO2 emissions

intially

Correct your spelling

initially

accumulated around 2

tonnes

Subsequently

, the figure dwindled significantly to just below 6

tonnes

per person in the

last

year. Regarding Italy and

portugal

Change the capitalization

Portugal

show examples

although

having different start points (less than 2

tonnes

for Italy and around 4

tonnes

for Portugal), both witnessed a surge in

this

concept. In the

last

13 years, their changes started to become stable. Looking at the year 2007, Italy reaching approximately 8

tonnes

was still above Portugal with less than 6

tonnes

Submitted by bita.rezaei7052 on Sat Jun 01 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".

▼

Introduction: The introduction is missing.

▼

Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.

▼

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words sweden, tonnes with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

▼

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

180 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

percentage
sector
increase
decrease
comparison
trend
water usage
management policies
decade
implications

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