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Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart shows the percentages of the Canadian workforce in five major industries in 1850 and 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the percentages of the Canadian workforce in five major industries in 1850 and 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #percentages #canadian #workforce #five #industries #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The graph displays the
percentages
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 of Canadian
workers
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 in manufacturing,
services
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, construction, and
energy
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/
water
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 in the years 1850 and 2020.
Overall
Linking Words
, in 1850 there were more people working in different activities like Manufacturing,
services
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 and agriculture. In 2020
services
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 had the highest percentage of
workers
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 being the industry that grew in 2020.
Energy
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/
Water
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 had the lowest
percentages
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 of the workforce in both years. In 1850 manufacturing,
services
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 and agriculture were the most important industries with 36%,33% and 22% of the workforce respectively. The
percentages
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 of people working in Construction and
Energy
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/
water
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 were the activities with fewer
workers
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 5% and 3% respectively. In 2020 the industry of
services
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 was the most important with 81 % of the workforce. Manufacturing and Agriculture dramatically dropped in comparison with 1850 (36% vs 9% and 22% vs 1%). The
percentages
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 of
workers
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 in Construction and
Energy
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/
Water
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 were not relevant compared
1850
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to 1850
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 and 2020
due to
Linking Words
 the numbers remaining year on year.
Submitted by daniruspi on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentages, workers, services, energy, water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentages" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 5 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • workforce composition
  • significant shift
  • increase/decrease in percentage
  • service industries
  • manufacturing
  • construction
  • noteworthy trends
  • tech industry
  • economic evolution
  • technological evolution
  • main features
  • comparisons
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