The graph below shows the proportions of workers in three different sectors in south korea between 1981 and 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

IELTS Writing Task Chart for The graph below shows the proportions of workers in three different sectors in south korea between 1981 and 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The line graphs illustrate changes in the proportion of employment rate from 1981 to 2011 in South Korea, by three different sectors;services,

agriculture

Use synonyms

and

industry

Use synonyms

Overall

Linking Words

it is clear that

Linking Words

an upward trend was seen in the service

sector

Use synonyms

and it had the largest proportion throughout the period.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the

agriculture

Use synonyms

and the

industry

Use synonyms

sector

Fix the agreement mistake

sectors

show examples

had declined over a 30-year period. In 1981, the service department

initially

Linking Words

had 40% of the whole employees

then

Linking Words

it had shot up to 70% in 2011.

However

Linking Words

, the proportion of

industry

Use synonyms

workers

Use synonyms

had gone up until 1991 by 35%, but started to shrink until 2011 and

then

Linking Words

reached around 25%.

Also

Linking Words

, agricultural

workers

Use synonyms

accounted for 30% of the whole employment rate in 1981,

whereas

Linking Words

it had plummeted by 5% in 2011. In conclusion, the

industry

Use synonyms

sector

Use synonyms

only had 1/5

workers

Use synonyms

for the services and the

agriculture

Use synonyms

sector

Use synonyms

had 1/12 employees for the services. In the

beginning

Add a comma

beginning,

show examples

there were fewer

workers

Use synonyms

in the

industry

Use synonyms

than in

agriculture

Use synonyms

, but in 2011

agriculture

Use synonyms

had the lowest number of employees among the three sectors.

JE Mon Jun 03 2024

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Replace the words agriculture, industry, sector, workers with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.

▼

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

179 words

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The graph below shows the proportions of workers in three different sectors in south korea between 1981 and 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

in today;s world many people own a smartphone. do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages

Students should be taught the academic subjects only in the schools not the practical skills like cooking. To what extent di you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that the activities of large multinational corporations mostly benefit the economies of developing countries. Other people take the opposite view and feel that these large multinationals are generally harmful. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

Television sports program shows such Olympic are a good source of motivation for youths who do not like to exercise much. Do you agree or disagree include examples in your answer and provide your owns opinion.

Some people believe that managers are responsible for the organization’s success, while others think various features of the organization play a vital role in it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.