THE CHART BELOW SHOWS THE PERCENTAGE OF MENAND WOMEN WHO DID VARIOUS FREE TIME ACTIVITIES IN ENGLAND

THE CHART BELOW SHOWS THE PERCENTAGE OF MENAND WOMEN WHO DID VARIOUS FREE TIME ACTIVITIES IN ENGLAND
IELTS Writing Task Chart for THE CHART BELOW SHOWS THE PERCENTAGE OF MENAND WOMEN WHO DID VARIOUS FREE TIME ACTIVITIES IN ENGLAND
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The
given
Verb problem
apply
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bar chart compares the popularity of seven leisure activities between
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
genders in England.
Overall
Linking Words
, using computer games for free time seemed not to be attractive among both sexes.
Additionally
Linking Words
, more
men
Use synonyms
than women opted for almost all activities with the exception of shopping and being with family.
To begin
Linking Words
with, over
three quarters
Add a hyphen
three-quarters
show examples
of both sexes watched TV in
free
Correct pronoun usage
their free
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time, closely followed by exactly 75% for family time
spending
Replace the word
spent
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the figures for doing exercises and reading were nearly the same, at which the percentage of
men
Use synonyms
was just under 75% and the proportion
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
their counterparts was approximately 70%. Turning to the remaining statistics, the majority of
men
Use synonyms
got access to the internet during their leisure moments, at well over 75%, compared to just about a third
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
female counterparts.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, shopping pique women’s interest the most, with 75% of them and over a fourth of
men
Use synonyms
decided
Wrong verb form
deciding
show examples
to
do
Correct pronoun usage
do it
show examples
. Interestingly, the figures for computer games
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
fairly low, at just under a fifth.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Vocabulary: Replace the words men with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 2 times.
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