You have seen an advertisement in an English newspaper for a job working in the City Museum shop during the holidays. You decide to apply for the job. Write a letter to the director of the Museum. In your letter: •introduce yourself •explain what experience and special skills you have •explain why you are interested in the job

DEAR SIR, I HOPE
THIS
LETTER YOU ARE DOING WELL.
IAM
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I AM
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WRITING
THIS
LETTER TO YOU
ABOUT
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BECAUSE
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I WANT TO BE AN ADVERTISEMENT FOR MY
JOB
, BECAUSE I REALLY NEED
THIS
A
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apply
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JOB
NEARBY
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NEAR
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MY BOARDING HOUSE. I
DECIDE
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HAVE DECIDED
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TO APPLY MY DOCUMENT AND CURRICULUM VITAE TO YOU. MY NAME IS DESI MANIS,
IAM
23
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AM 23
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TH YEARS OLD, I LIVE IN JAVA
NEARBY
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NEAR
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CITY
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THE CITY
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MUSEUM SHOP, AND
IAM
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I AM
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FRESH
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A FRESH
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GRADUATE
THIS
YEAR. I HAVE SOME EXPERIENCE LIKE I WAS BECOME ADMINISTRATION IN THE FAMOUSE SHOP, AND I WAS MAKE SOME ADVERTISEMENT IN GIVE GROUP IS VERY FAMILIAR IN
THIS
COUNTRY. RI IN MY VIEW
IAM
VERY SUITABLE FOR
THIS
JOB
. I REALLY LIKE
THIS
JOB
BECAUSE
,
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apply
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NEARBY AT
BOARDING
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THE BOARDING
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HOUSE AND I
LIKE
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LIKE TO
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MAKE
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MAKING
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VIDEO
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VIDEOS
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AND
THEN
I
IMMEDIATELLY
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IMMEDIATELY
EDIT BY
ME
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MYSELF
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. I
LAWAYS
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ALWAYS
CONFIDENT
WITH
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IN
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MY SKILL IS I HAVE. I HOPE YOU CAN
MAKE
Verb problem
DO
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BUSINESS WITH ME AND HOPEFULY, YOU GIVE ME WORK IN YOUR OFFICE. THANK YOU FOR
NICE
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apply
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YOUR
ATENTION
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ATTENTION
,
IAM
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AM
LOOKING FORWARD TO HEARING FOR SOON. SINCERELY, DEA
Submitted by patricius.yohanes on

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task achievement
The letter introduces the writer, describes their experience and skills, and explains their interest in the job, which is good. However, it could be more detailed and clearer in each point.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure by organizing the text better. For instance, separate the introduction, experience, and reasons for interest into distinct paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
There are a number of grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that need to be corrected for clarity and professionalism. Consider proofreading or asking someone proficient in English to help review your letter.
task achievement
Use a more formal and respectful tone, especially in the opening and closing of the letter. This will demonstrate professionalism.
task achievement
The letter addresses all the required points: introduction, experience, and reasons for interest, showing a complete response to the task.
task achievement
The writer shows enthusiasm for the job and relates their skills and experience, which is positive.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Dear Director,
  • enthusiastic applicant
  • pursuing a degree in
  • customer service experience
  • volunteer work
  • multilingual
  • cash handling
  • POS systems
  • team player
  • punctual
  • excellent communicator
  • cultural enthusiast
  • part-time position
  • professional references available
  • at your earliest convenience
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