IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart and graph below give information about three categories of workers in Australia and the unemployment levels within those groups. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart and graph below give information about three categories of workers in Australia and the unemployment levels within those groups. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #three #categories #workers #australia #unemployment #levels #groups #summarise #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The pie chart illustrates 3 different workforce patterns by their birthplace in 2003,
while
Linking Words
 the line graphs provide information about the unemployment rates from 1993 to 2003.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that most of the workers were
borned
Correct your spelling
born
burned
 in Australia. Despite seeing decreases in 3 categories, NESC remained the highest data throughout the 10-year period. In regard to workforce by birthplace,
he
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 ratio of workers
borned
Correct your spelling
born
 in Australia was nearly
three quarters
Add a hyphen
three-quarters
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the proportions of NESC and ESC represented 14% and 10% in turn. In terms of unemployment percentages, it is notable that there was a significant drop from around 7% in 1993 to approximately 3% by the end of the period.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 two categories witnessed the same point of about 2.5% in 1995. After that,
Australian
Correct article usage
the Australian
show examples
 joblessness proportion slightly declined to 2%, meanwhile, that of ESC was 1% in 2003.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: