IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the contribution of three sectors- agriculture, manufacturing, and business and financial services- to the UK economy in the twentieth century. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the contribution of three sectors- agriculture, manufacturing, and business and financial services- to the UK economy in the twentieth century. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#contribution #three #sectors- #agriculture #business #services- #uk #economy #century #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The bar chart illustrates the shares of 3 sectors (
agriculture
; manufacturing; and
business
 and financing) to the
UK
economy
 between 1900 to 2000.
Overall
, it was shown in the early 19th century, the
UK
economy
mostly
Add a missing verb
was mostly
show examples
 affected by
Agriculture
 and Manufacturing with
contribution
Correct article usage
a contribution
show examples
almost
Change preposition
of almost
show examples
 95%, but
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the
last
 of
19th
Correct article usage
the 19th
show examples
 century, it shifted to the
Business
 and Financial
sector
Fix the agreement mistake
sectors
show examples
. Based on the graph, between 1900 to 1950, the
UK
economy
 was dominated over
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half by
agriculture
 and followed by manufacturing for about 40% to 45%
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the total
UK
economy
.
In
Change preposition
At
show examples
this
 time, the
business
 and financing
sector
only
Add a missing verb
is only
show examples
 worth
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
about 5% to 10%
share
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
UK
economy
.
However
, between 1950 to 2000, it happened gradually changes
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
share
 proportions of each
sector
. It can be seen where
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
agriculture
 had a
deeply
Replace the word
deep
show examples
 plummed from 1950 to 1975, and it continued
decrease
Add the particle
to decrease
show examples
 in 2000 with gave
share
 below 5%
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
UK
economy
. It
also
 worked the same with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Manufacturing where it gradually decreased from 1950 to 2000
with left
Change preposition
leaving
show examples
 its
share
only
Change preposition
at only
show examples
 15%
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
UK
economy
.
Conversely
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
business
 and financing had a moderate
increasing
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 where in
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
2000, it became the highest
sector
 contribute to the
UK
economy
.
Submitted by rlsatria on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words agriculture, business, uk, economy, sector, share with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • contribution
  • sector
  • economy
  • twentieth century
  • trend
  • decline
  • growth
  • period
  • significant rise
  • factors
  • relative performance
  • dominant
  • comparison
  • analysis
What to do next:
Look at other essays: