IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the contribution of three sectors- agriculture, manufacturing, and business and financial services- to the UK economy in the twentieth century. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the contribution of three sectors- agriculture, manufacturing, and business and financial services- to the UK economy in the twentieth century. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#contribution #three #sectors- #agriculture #business #services- #uk #economy #century #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The bar chart illustrates the shares of 3 sectors (
agriculture
Use synonyms
; manufacturing; and
business
Use synonyms
 and financing) to the
UK
Use synonyms
economy
Use synonyms
 between 1900 to 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, it was shown in the early 19th century, the
UK
Use synonyms
economy
Use synonyms
mostly
Add a missing verb
was mostly
show examples
 affected by
Agriculture
Use synonyms
 and Manufacturing with
contribution
Correct article usage
a contribution
show examples
almost
Change preposition
of almost
show examples
 95%, but
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the
last
Linking Words
 of
19th
Correct article usage
the 19th
show examples
 century, it shifted to the
Business
Use synonyms
 and Financial
Use synonyms
sector
Fix the agreement mistake
sectors
show examples
. Based on the graph, between 1900 to 1950, the
UK
Use synonyms
economy
Use synonyms
 was dominated over
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half by
agriculture
Use synonyms
 and followed by manufacturing for about 40% to 45%
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the total
UK
Use synonyms
economy
Use synonyms
.
In
Change preposition
At
show examples
this
Linking Words
 time, the
business
Use synonyms
 and financing
sector
Use synonyms
only
Add a missing verb
is only
show examples
 worth
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
about 5% to 10%
share
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
UK
Use synonyms
economy
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, between 1950 to 2000, it happened gradually changes
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
share
Use synonyms
 proportions of each
sector
Use synonyms
. It can be seen where
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
agriculture
Use synonyms
 had a
deeply
Replace the word
deep
show examples
 plummed from 1950 to 1975, and it continued
decrease
Add the particle
to decrease
show examples
 in 2000 with gave
share
Use synonyms
 below 5%
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
UK
Use synonyms
economy
Use synonyms
. It
also
Linking Words
 worked the same with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Manufacturing where it gradually decreased from 1950 to 2000
with left
Change preposition
leaving
show examples
 its
share
Use synonyms
only
Change preposition
at only
show examples
 15%
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
UK
Use synonyms
economy
Use synonyms
.
Conversely
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
business
Use synonyms
 and financing had a moderate
increasing
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 where in
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
2000, it became the highest
sector
Use synonyms
 contribute to the
UK
Use synonyms
economy
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by rlsatria on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words agriculture, business, uk, economy, sector, share with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • contribution
  • sector
  • economy
  • twentieth century
  • trend
  • decline
  • growth
  • period
  • significant rise
  • factors
  • relative performance
  • dominant
  • comparison
  • analysis
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