Some businesses prohibit smoking in any of their offices. Some governments have banned smoking in all public places. Do you agree or disagree that this is the right course of action? Give reasons for your opinion.
Most of the private organizations are banned
to smoke
inside the Change preposition
from smoking
work places
. Correct your spelling
workplaces
Moreover
, few countries
public Change noun form
country's
countries'
administration
have forbidden smoking Fix the agreement mistake
administrations
among
Change preposition
in
the
public assembly areas. My statement is smoking is an individual Correct article usage
apply
habit
of a person also
government
should not possible to eradicate smoking completely. Thus
, allow them to smoke in a private place and it will not harm to
Change preposition
apply
the
other Correct article usage
apply
people
.
Initially
, nowadays smoking has become one of the habitual activities among the
Correct article usage
apply
people
. Numerous people
are smoking because of high stress and tension. In
the smoking Change preposition
During
time
they feel Add a comma
time,
relax
and Wrong verb form
relaxed
delight
. Wrong verb form
delighted
Due to
the development of technology
the world is going advanced in daily. So, Add a comma
technology,
people
runs
very Change the verb form
run
faster
in their Replace the word
fast
life
to survive. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Hence
, stress and anxiety has
generated among them. Some Change the verb form
have
people
are feeling smoking can give relax and patience from depression. Moreover
, government
Add an article
the government
also
getting more profit from the selling of cigarettes and tobacco. For example
, India is one of biggest
Add an article
the biggest
country
in the world and more Fix the agreement mistake
countries
population
. There is around more than 70% Correct article usage
a population
people
are consuming cigarettes and tobacco daily.
Every coin has two sides Change preposition
of people
in
the other side, smoking Change preposition
on
habit
will harm the
human organs like Correct article usage
apply
lungs
, liver and brain cells. Correct article usage
the lungs
Furthermore
, this
habit
will lead to create
severe diseases in the human body Verb problem
apply
such
as cancer, blood
pressure, Correct word choice
high blood
tuberculosis
. If any persons are smoking in assembly points that efflux Correct word choice
and tuberculosis
cigarette
ash can harm Change preposition
of cigarette
the
other persons Correct article usage
apply
also
who hasn’t
the smoking Correct subject-verb agreement
haven’t
habit
.
To
Change preposition
In
the
nutshell, smoking is the Correct article usage
a
habit
of a particular person. Government
or Correct article usage
The government
another
other Correct quantifier usage
apply
organization
Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
has
no Correct subject-verb agreement
have
any
authority to ban it. But some changes and Correct quantifier usage
apply
enhancement
Fix the agreement mistake
enhancements
to be
possible. Change the verb form
are
Government
can make the rules for Correct article usage
The government
the
smokers to smoke in a room or any isolated place.Correct article usage
apply
Submitted by smsundaram57 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a reasonable introduction and conclusion, but it could be more logically structured. Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and follow a more organized sequence of arguments.
task achievement
Ensure that each idea introduced in the essay is clearly explained and supported with examples. The statement about India's smoking population, for example, should be backed up with more reliable statistics.
coherence cohesion
The writer has attempted to address the prompt and included an introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument and presents the writer's opinion.
Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS
Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!