The given bar chart shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age group who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevent.

The given bar chart shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age group who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevent.
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of physical activity performed by Australian men and
women
in different
age
groups throughout 2010.
Initially
,
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
age
group of 15 to 24
years
old, the male gender started off with the highest performance at 52,8% and
female
Correct article usage
the female
show examples
gender at 40,7%. Over the
years
, the percentage of exercise for the male group declined until it reached the low
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
39,5%, exactly at the
age
of 35 to 44
years
old.
In contrast
, the percentage for
women
continuously grew until it reached
climax
Add an article
a climax
show examples
at 53,5%, exactly at the
age
group of 55 to 64
years
old.
Lastly
, at the
age
of 65 and over, the proportion of physical activities for men and
women
met at a similar percentage of 46,7% and 47,1% respectively.
Overall
, the amount of physical activities done by the genders
contrast
Correct subject-verb agreement
contrasts
show examples
each
age
groups
Fix the agreement mistake
group
show examples
,
whereas
the peak for men happened when they
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
young adults and
women
when they
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
middle aged
Add a hyphen
middle-aged
show examples
.
Submitted by kelly on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Vocabulary: Replace the words women, age, years with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: