Many businesses think that the new employees who have just graduated from schools lack interpersonal skills, such as working with colleagues as a team. What has caused this and what are the solutions to this problem?

#businesses #employees #schools #lack #skills #colleagues #team

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There are a lot of employers assuming that young people after graduation from

schools

Fix the agreement mistake

school

show examples

have

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not

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enough ability for team working. That's a

primery

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primary

reason

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for

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unemployment

Correct article usage

the unemployment

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of young specialists. I guess,

this

Linking Words

caused

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is caused

show examples

Change preposition

apply

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account of

faith

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the faith

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that the elders are ever better than

youngers

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younger

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with interpersonal connections, work

skills

Use synonyms

knowlege

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knowledge

etc.

I'm strongly disagree

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I strongly disagree

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with

this

Linking Words

statement, and I would try to explain my opinion and to offer some kind of solution to

this

Linking Words

problem.

Firstly

Linking Words

, I am convinced, that people have a lot of

skills

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thatare

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that are

not related to their education. There is an influence of environment, family,

socio-economical

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socioeconomic

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status,

school

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and school

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staff. We can see

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apply

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young children in a

kindergarden

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kindergarten

primery

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primary

school: some of them with a lot of friends, others with a lack of

communucations

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communications

communication

Moreover

Linking Words

, it's

clearly

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clear

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that there is

the

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show examples

great number of

expirienced

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experienced

employees,

that

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who

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have no idea about

team-work

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teamwork

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ever

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even

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after classes and courses. And

sometime

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sometimes

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just the young employee

have

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has

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enough power to change

this

Linking Words

situation.

For instance

Linking Words

, in my

last

Linking Words

workplace in

oncology

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the oncology

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department, there was

the

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show examples

nursing student, Hadas,

that

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who

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started

her

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apply

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working as a nurse after graduating

school

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from school

show examples

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at 23

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years old. Today, after two years, she is a deputy head nurse, the best

this

Linking Words

department ever had. So, we can see transparently that there is

neither

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connection between age and

communicating

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communication

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skills

Use synonyms

. Now

then

Linking Words

, what can I offer to solve

this

Linking Words

problem?

Lets

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Let's

Let us

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start

to recruit

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recruiting

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the

Correct article usage

apply

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post-graduation employees, They have

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apply

show examples

fresh

knowlege

Correct your spelling

knowledge

and

skills

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, they will exchange them with the elder employees.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, they will be more

loyality

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loyalty

loyal

to your business. You'll have an opportunity to educate them to your needs.

Submitted by anastasia on Fri Jun 14 2024

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task achievement

Although the introduction presents the problem, it could be made stronger by clearly stating the main points that will be discussed in your essay. For instance, explicitly mention the causes and solutions you will address.

coherence cohesion

The essay could benefit from more logical structure. Each paragraph should introduce a single main idea that is clearly related to the task. Dividing the essay into causes and solutions can help.

task achievement

There are several grammatical errors that sometimes hinder clarity. For example, 'knowlege' should be 'knowledge', and 'communicating skills' should be 'communication skills'. Reading the essay aloud or using grammar checking tools could help identify and correct these errors.

coherence cohesion

Linking words like 'Firstly', 'Moreover', and 'For instance' are used well to connect ideas, but ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly from one to the next. Perhaps adding more transitions between the ideas presented could improve the coherence.

task achievement

The essay offers a relevant personal example that enhances the explanation of a young employee's potential. This adds depth to your argument.

task achievement

Your contention that young graduates have valuable knowledge and skills offers a fresh perspective and is well-supported by a real-life example.

coherence cohesion

The use of linking words helps in creating a more coherent structure, making the essay easier to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
40
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

7 paragraphs

277 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Technological Dependency
Interpersonal Skills
Digital Communication Channels
Face-to-face Interactions
Collaborative Learning
Team-Building Skills
Curriculum
Group Dynamics
Communication, Compromise, and Collective Problem-solving
Professional Skill Workshops
On-the-job Training

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Many businesses think that the new employees who have just graduated from schools lack interpersonal skills, such as working with colleagues as a team. What has caused this and what are the solutions to this problem?

Fully explain your ideas

You have had your computer repaired by your local computer supplier. You were extremely impressed with the service. Write a letter to the manager of the shop. Describe what happened when you call the shop. Praised the staff who helped you and ask the manager to thank those concerned.

Government investment in the arts,such as music and theatre is a waste of money. Government must invest this money in public service instead. Do you agree or disagree.

Genetic engineering is an important issue in society today. Some people think that it will improve people's lives in many ways. Others feel that it may be a threat to life on earth. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Do you agree with gun possession to protect people?