The graphic indicates the gender ratio of teachers in six kinds of UK education in 2010.
The graphic indicates the gender proportion of masters
six
kinds of British education in 2010. From Change preposition
in six
glan
Correct your spelling
glance
ce
it can be seen the fraction of Add a comma
ce,
women
tutors
decreases as the level
of education increases with that of male instructors showing the opposite.
Overall
, what stands out from the chart is that female teachers were significantly more likely to teach in earlier grades, the
more Correct article usage
apply
men
Correct your spelling
male
tutors
dominated. However
, the ratio of lectures of both sexes was equal at the college level
.
A
glance at the bar chart,by far the highest Change preposition
At a
precentage
of educators in nursery Correct your spelling
percentage
pre-school
were females at 95% as opposed Correct your spelling
preschool
men
Change preposition
to men
0,5
,% . Change preposition
at 0,5
Second
highest Correct article usage
The second
precentage
of education in primary schoolCorrect your spelling
percentage
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
women
90% men
10%. At the secondary level
the numbers of Add a comma
level,
women
and male school teachers differed slightly at 55% and 45% respectively.
On the other hand
, female
were 45% and Fix the agreement mistake
females
men
were 45% of both sexes was equal at the college level
. Meanwhile
Add a comma
Meanwhile,
men
were
Verb problem
had
highest
proportion Correct article usage
the highest
private
training Change preposition
of private
institute
55%Fix the agreement mistake
institutes
women
40% men
. The presentage
dars depicts that male Correct your spelling
percentage
tutors
mostly Correct your spelling
taught
taughr
Correct your spelling
taught
in
higher Change preposition
at
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
while
more men
teachers were teaching Correct your spelling
male
on
Change preposition
at
the
university
opposed Correct article usage
apply
women
25% .
In summary, male tutors
in the Uk
Correct your spelling
UK
was
higher in numbers in upper grades Correct subject-verb agreement
were
while
this
was completely opposite in
primary and Change preposition
at
pre-,school
levels.Correct your spelling
pre--school
Submitted by Shaxnoza on
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grammar
There are noticeable grammatical errors such as 'From glan ce', 'fraction of women tutors'. Work on sentence construction and ensure consistency in naming conventions.
clarity
Some parts of the essay are difficult to understand and this lack of clarity affects comprehension. Ensure that your ideas flow logically and that each sentence builds on the one before it.
specific examples
Your essay needs quantifiable examples and specific details from the data provided. Make sure to refer to exact percentages and figures to support your claims effectively.
balance
The essay needs balanced coverage of all noted educational levels. Give equal weight to each level of education to offer a more thorough analysis.
proofreading
Make sure to proofread your essay to avoid typographical errors and ensure proper punctuation. This will significantly improve readability and coherence.
introduction
Your introduction succinctly introduces the topic and clearly lays out the main trend observed in the data.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the key findings from the data.
structure
You have attempted to provide a logical order in your essay, transitioning from one educational level to another systematically.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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