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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

the chart below shows the percentage of households in owned and rented accoomodation in england and wales between 1918 and 2011. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

the chart below shows the percentage of households in owned and rented accoomodation in england and wales between 1918 and 2011. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#percentage #households #accoomodation #england #wales #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The illustrated bar graph represents data from the Englands and Whales describing the volume of owned households with rented
Use synonyms
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
 over a century between 1918 and 2011.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, back in 1918 over 75% of
people
Use synonyms
 owned houses which gradually reduced over the period reaching the lowest point in 2001 at only 30% and which grew marginally
with
Change preposition
apply
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ending at over 35% of
people
Use synonyms
 owning houses in 2011.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, renting
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
 was at
all time
Add a hyphen
all-time
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 low back in 1918, which rose significantly reaching a peak highest point at
marginally
Correct article usage
a marginally
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 70% of
people
Use synonyms
 renting
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
.
However
Linking Words
, near the end of
2011
Add a comma
2011,
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this
Linking Words
 volume reduced slightly
at
Change preposition
to
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 over 65%.
Overall
Linking Words
, over the century it is observed that
people
Use synonyms
 stopped owning a house and started renting
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
.
Submitted by nick on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words accomodation, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "reduced" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "marginally" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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