IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar charts shows the details the percentage of two types of television programmes, namely reality and game shows watched by males and females in different age groups in Australia.

The bar charts shows the details the percentage of two types of television programmes, namely reality and game shows watched by males and females in different age groups in Australia.
#bar #percentage #two #television #programmes #reality #game #males #females #age #groups #australia
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The provided bar charts illustrate the proportion of two
sort
Change to a plural noun
sorts
show examples
 of various TV
programmes
Use synonyms
,which are called
reality
Use synonyms
 and
game
Use synonyms
 shows that are watched by
men
Use synonyms
 and women
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 all ages in
Australia
Use synonyms
. It can be clearly seen that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the highest number of
reality
Use synonyms
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
watchers
Use synonyms
 is for women.
However
Linking Words
,the majority of
men
Use synonyms
 choose to watch
game
Use synonyms
programmes
Use synonyms
 with the age over 45
years
Use synonyms
 old in
Australia
Use synonyms
. Nearly %70 of females tend to watch factual
programmes
Use synonyms
 on television with ages more than 45
years
Use synonyms
 old.(Which is the highest quantity of
watchers
Use synonyms
 over the whole period).whilst,exactly %60 of women choose to watch entertainment
programmes
Use synonyms
 in
Australia
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,precisely %60 of the young population aged from 25 to 34
years
Use synonyms
 old are into
watch
Replace the word
watching
show examples
reality
Use synonyms
 shows,compared to just under %40 of them who prefer to watch
game
Use synonyms
 shows in
Australia
Use synonyms
.(Which is the least number of
game
Use synonyms
programmes
Use synonyms
watchers
Use synonyms
 over the period). Just over %60 of
men
Use synonyms
 prefer to watch
game
Use synonyms
 shows on TV which includes more than 45
years
Use synonyms
 old.(Which is the highest level of
game
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
programmes
Fix the agreement mistake
programme
show examples
watchers
Use synonyms
 for
men
Use synonyms
 over the year),as
apposed
Correct your spelling
opposed
show examples
 to
reality
Use synonyms
 shows with the least quantity of
watchers
Use synonyms
 at roughly %35 for males.
In addition
Linking Words
,watching
reality
Use synonyms
 shows for people aged 16 to 24
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 as popular as watching
game
Use synonyms
programmes
Use synonyms
 at just around
of
Correct your spelling
50
%50 in
Australia
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words programmes, reality, game, men, australia, watchers, years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 6 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: