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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart shows the different levels of post-school qualifications in Australia and the proportion of men amd women who held them in 1999. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart shows the different levels of post-school qualifications in Australia and the proportion of men amd women who held them in 1999. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#levels #post-school #qualifications #australia #proportion #men #amd #women #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The given chart illustrates different levels of post-school qualifications in Australia and the proportion of
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 who held them in 1999,
it is clear that
Linking Words
men
Use synonyms
 are mostly
populated
Verb problem
paid
show examples
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
skilled
Correct pronoun usage
their skilled
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
vocational
Use synonyms
diploma
Fix the agreement mistake
diplomas
show examples
.
According to
Linking Words
 the chart,
women
Use synonyms
 are mostly qualified
Change preposition
for in
show examples
in
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 Undergraduate
diploma
Use synonyms
,
Wheras
Correct your spelling
whereas
men
Use synonyms
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
 the lowest than all other qualifications
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 Undergraduate
diploma
Use synonyms
,
However
Linking Words
, both genders share similar percentages
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 bachelor's
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there is a huge difference in the percentage of females that are qualified
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 vocational
Use synonyms
diploma
Fix the agreement mistake
diplomas
show examples
than
Change preposition
to
show examples
men
Use synonyms
 do, males are 80% highest than females which is a high rate,
on the other hand
Linking Words
,
women
Use synonyms
 are mostly undergraduate
Use synonyms
diploma
Fix the agreement mistake
diplomas
show examples
,
In addition
Linking Words
, the rate of females that are undergraduates is approximately double the percentage of males. In conclusion,
men
Use synonyms
 have a higher amount of educational degrees in three categories as shown in the chart,
Whereas
Linking Words
women
Use synonyms
 are only higher in two degrees.
Submitted by yazanalt523 on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 91%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women, diploma with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportion" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • chart
  • levels
  • post-school qualifications
  • proportion
  • men
  • women
  • held
  • clear gender disparity
  • Certificate I
  • Certificate II
  • Certificate III
  • Certificate IV
  • Diploma or Higher
  • highest proportion
  • decreases
  • overall
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