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Band 6.5

The charts below show the proportion of British Students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The charts below show the proportion of British Students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
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The supplied pie charts illustrate how many
students
Use synonyms
 were able to speak other languages
except of
Change preposition
besides
show examples
 English
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the
university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
 of England in 2000 and 2010. It can be clearly seen that nearly a third of
students
Use synonyms
 could speak Spanish.
However
Linking Words
,the pupils did not prefer to learn German over the whole period. In 2000,roughly a third of
students
Use synonyms
 could speak Spanish (%30),compared to 2010 with %35 of Spanish speakers.
Moreover
Linking Words
,20 per cent of
students
Use synonyms
 did not speak any other languages in 2000 which was halved to 10 percent in 2010.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
,15
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
students
Use synonyms
 were able to speak another language in 2000,
while
Linking Words
 approximately a quarter of pupils (%20) could speak another language in 2010.
In contrast
Linking Words
,the proportion of
students
Use synonyms
 who preferred to speak French was %15 in 2000.
However
Linking Words
,a tiny fraction of
students
Use synonyms
 could speak French with %10 in 2010.
Additionally
Linking Words
,the percentage of
students
Use synonyms
 who chose
speak
Fix the infinitive
to speak
show examples
 only German
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 unchanged
wit
Correct your spelling
with
show examples
 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 from 2000 to 2010.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,the number of pupils who could speak two other languages was %10 and %15 in 2000 and 2010,respectively.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students with synonyms.
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