IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

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There is no denying the fact that
job
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satisfaction
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 and a big
salary
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 are more crucial in other life. Do think cost
salary
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 is big important than
job
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satisfaction
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? the benefits have increased in recent years. Those who support
job
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satisfaction
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 believe that
people
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 are more comfortable doing the best of here
job
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. There are different reasons for the better occupations for
people
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. The initial to consider is that
,
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apply
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people
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 should
work
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satisfaction
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 to obtain a Special deal.
In other words
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, there are many different jobs in another country It makes you very delighted to do
this
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 and in return, the
salary
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 is a little average, Some
people
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 a
job
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 as a teacher woe extremely hard to assist all the students and feel over the moon to educate them.
Moreover
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, all
people
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 who
work
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 on
job
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satisfaction
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 have a relaxed,personality, and leisure time. To elaborate more on
job
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 comfort makes
people
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 relax to do everything and improve in many types. If
people
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work
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 on
job
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satisfaction
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 that builds a strong personality to communicate with others and assist all
people
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 that Little average
salary
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 becomes workers doing the best kind of
job
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.The study says the workers in Kuwait are comfortable with
job
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satisfaction
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 in recent years.
However
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, there are a number of reasons why
this
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 is not the right course of action for a big
salary
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 in different jobs.The first
on
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one
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 to consider is that some
people
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 think a big
salary
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 in different jobs is horrible for The country's economy. Take
for instance
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, a lot of money in a
job
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 makes
people
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 more eager to bring in high money, and they do not do many distinguished works and provide something useful to society, and they
also
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 do not find comfort in that.
Furthermore
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, you should give big salaries for high occupations They deserve Those who
work
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 in hospitals are doctors because they save
people
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's lives.
To sum up
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, there are no essay answers to
this
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 topic.
People
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 have different views.On balance,I tend to believe that
job
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satisfaction
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 is the best for everybody.

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task achievement
Your essay covers the main points of the prompt, but the arguments could be more developed and structured. Try to provide more detailed reasons and examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear and logical structure. Your ideas are somewhat scattered, so try to organize them more systematically. Use separate paragraphs for each main point and make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next.
coherence cohesion
Rephrase some sentences to improve clarity. Avoid repetitive phrases and ensure each sentence adds value to your argument. Using a variety of sentences improves readability.
introduction conclusion
The essay has a clear introduction and a conclusion which helps in setting the context and summarizing your points effectively.
task achievement
You made a good attempt to address both job satisfaction and high salary, touching upon some key points relevant to the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
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