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Writing Samples
Band 4

The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.

The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.
#diagrams #show #stages #equipment #process #cement #purposes
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The first picture here illustrates the manufacturing procedure of
cement
 and the second picture
is showing
Wrong verb form
shows
show examples
 the making of concrete out of the
cement
 for
using
Replace the word
use
show examples
 in construction. The raw materials for
cement
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
limeshone
Correct your spelling
limestone
 and clay, which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 crushed into
powder
 through a rolling crusher in the first stage. On the contrasting side, the concrete is made out of four ingredients,
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 15%
cement
, 10% water, 25% sand and 50% gravel. Which is mixed in
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 open-mouth concrete mixer, that rotates to
assure
Verb problem
ensure
show examples
 a homogenous mix and produce concrete. But for
cement
, a
closed type
Add a hyphen
closed-type
show examples
 cylindrical mixer is used to mix the fine
powder
 made with the crusher.
This
powder
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
 heated in a rotating heater by a burner. The heated mixture is poured onto a conveyor belt in the next step.
Afterward
Change the spelling
Afterwards
show examples
, with the help of
conveyor
Correct article usage
a conveyor
show examples
 belt, it reaches
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the grinder, where it grinds the mixture
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
fine
Add an article
a fine
show examples
powder
 of
cement
.
Finally
, the
cement
 is packaged in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
cement
 bag for the use of the user.
Overall
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cement
 production goes through five consecutive steps, starting from crushing the raw materials and
ends
Wrong verb form
ending
show examples
 up as bagged
cement
,
on the other hand
,
this
cement
 is used as a raw material, which turns into concrete as the final product.
Submitted by mostakahmedfaysal on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cement, powder with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • construction
  • cement-making
  • raw materials
  • crushing
  • mixing
  • heating
  • grinding
  • cement powder
  • packaging
  • distribution
  • concrete
  • versatility
  • strength
  • aggregate
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