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Writing Samples
Band 7

The pie charts compare the proportions of five separated energy supplies in France in 1995 and 2005.In the generation, all types of energy production witnessed an upward trend except for petrol.

The pie charts compare the proportions of five separated energy supplies in France in 1995 and 2005.In the generation, all types of energy production witnessed an upward trend except for petrol.
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The two pie charts give information about the comparison of how many five different sources
contribute
Wrong verb form
contributed
show examples
 to the
energy
Use synonyms
 in
France
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 in the years 1995 and 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
 it can be seen that at the beginning of the
period
Use synonyms
, Gas was the largest
Use synonyms
France's
Change preposition
in France's
show examples
energy
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 production,
while
Linking Words
 the other contributed the lowest to
energy
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 supplies.
At the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
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, the percentage of Coal was the most significant to
France
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's
energy
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 production and other has become the least
energy
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 segment. The figure for gas accounted for 29,63% of
France
Use synonyms
's
energy
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 supply in 1995 and it had a slight increase to 30,31% in 2005.
Energy
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 comes from coal was 29.80% in 1995 and it experienced a regular growth of 1,93% in 2005.
In addition
Linking Words
, there was a steady rise in the contribution of
France
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's
energy
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 from nuclear and other at exactly 6,40% and 4,90%, respectively
then
Linking Words
 both figures increased regularly to 10,10% and 9,10%,
accordingly
Linking Words
.
In Contrast
Linking Words
, the proportion of petrol in
France
Use synonyms
's
energy
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 started at 29,27% in the initial
period
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 and it fell to 19,55%
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, france, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Proportion
  • Energy supply
  • Upward trend
  • Decline
  • Production
  • Petrol
  • Generation
  • Increase
  • Decrease
  • Technological advances
  • Government policy
  • Environmental factors
  • Economic factors
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