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Band 5

Nowadays people make new friends through social networks and internet chat groups. Some people think this is good. Others thinks face to face interaction is essential. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #friends #networks #internet #chat #groups #face #interaction
The advancement in
technolgy
Correct your spelling
technology
 has been convenient in every manner. One of them is making new
friends
, social networks
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 easy way to start talking to new
people
 for
individuals
 who lack communication skills and are shy in person. Though
face to
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
show examples
face
interation
Correct your spelling
interaction
 is a vital element for friendships
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
social
interation
Correct your spelling
interaction
integration
 can become
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 initial step to
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
life long
Correct your spelling
lifelong
show examples
friends
. In
this
 essay, we will discuss
weather
Correct your spelling
whether
show examples
internet
 interactions are safe for an individual or not.  Social networks are known for
people
 to connect with
eachother
Correct your spelling
each other
, make new
friends
 and be up to date with the happenings in other's life. We get to know the basic interests and hobbies the other person has,
otherwise
 it would have been done through the initial talk.
Individuals
 with similar
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
show examples
 are more likely to become
friends
.
Moreover
, it requires less time punctuality and is very flexible, so
individuals
 who have strict
routine
Fix the agreement mistake
routines
show examples
 can become acquainted with a person over these chat groups.
However
, the ultimate key goal should be to have a
face to
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
show examples
face
 interaction.  There are
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of demerits of
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 chat groups
aswell
Correct your spelling
as well
,
such
 as
people
 pretending to be someone
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
they are not. A lot of
people
 try to scam
people
 into meeting them for their own interest and have malicious intentions
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 heart.
This
 could be either to abduct them or simply
wanting
Wrong verb form
want
show examples
 a favour.
Moreover
, these social networks provide a platform
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
people
 in which they are able to stalk
people
.
Individuals
 should take precautions when having a physical interaction with someone they met over the
internet
. I strongly believe meeting over the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 can help a lot of us overcome the shyness phase and improve our communication
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
. Though there are downsides to having
friends
 over the
internet
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the most efficient way to make
friends
 is a physical interaction.
Submitted by chaudhryahad01 on

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advice
The essay provides a general discussion but could explore the topic in more depth. Consider including more specific examples to strengthen your points.
advice
Some sentences lack clarity. Ensure each idea is clearly expressed to improve comprehension.
advice
Work on providing a clear structure by using paragraphs effectively to separate different points and ideas.
advice
Consider rephrasing sentences to make them more grammatically correct and fluid.
highlight
The essay addresses both views and provides a personal opinion, contributing to a balanced discussion.
highlight
The argument about the flexibility and convenience of online interactions is well-presented.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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