Employers should give their staff at least a 4-week holiday a year to help employees perform better in their jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Leaders of companies are supposed to offer more than 28 days of annual leave to all their workers in order to aid their task performance. Whether or not

this

Linking Words

is beneficial to society is a moot point.

However

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this

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essay agrees with the statement because a sufficient amount of holidays per year enables employees to rest and recuperate

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

while

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improving job satisfaction.

To begin

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with, days off are crucial not merely for students, but

also

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for workers who are struggling to do their duties days and nights. Providing a 4-week holiday allows employees ample time to rest and retreat, which can lead to improved mental health and increased productivity when they return to

work

Use synonyms

For example

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, they are

finally

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able to go on a vacation and spend more time with their family and friends, without thinking about the numerous workloads.

Additionally

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

can reduce burnout in workers

due to

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the stressful assignments and environment, which could bring detrimental consequences on individuals

such

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as anxiety and depression.

Moreover

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, a longer holiday period supports a healthier balance between

work

Use synonyms

and personal life, which offers substantial benefits for both organisations and employees.

As a result

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this

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could ameliorate

overall

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job satisfaction and loyalty to the employer, knowing that they have a guaranteed extended break.

For instance

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, a recent study indicates that people who settle down in a company with a great reputation tend to enjoy their job and manage to stay much longer. In conclusion, every staff member needs to get at least a month of

work

Use synonyms

leave.

Therefore

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, they would love and enjoy doing their

work

Use synonyms

and get a better

work

Use synonyms

-life balance,

while

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spending quality time with their loved ones.

maisarahamirah16Sun Jul 14 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that your introduction clearly delineates your stance. The opening sentence could be more refined to explicitly include your viewpoint and better introduce the subsequent arguments.

task achievement

Incorporate more specific examples and evidence to robustly support your points. While your ideas are clear, grounding them with detailed examples would enhance your essay's persuasiveness.

coherence cohesion

Enhance the flow between paragraphs and ideas by using more varied and sophisticated connecting phrases. This can improve the overall coherence and cohesion of your essay.

coherence cohesion

The essay maintains a clear and organized structure, advancing from introduction to body paragraphs, and concluding effectively.

task achievement

You have effectively elaborated on the benefits of a 4-week holiday for employees, explaining how it can improve both mental health and job satisfaction.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

278 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Rest and recuperate
Increased productivity
Mental health
Enhanced creativity
Problem-solving
Reduced burnout
Job satisfaction
Work-life balance
Long-term benefits
Motivated workforce
Mental space
Extended break
Employee performance
Healthier workforce
Ample time

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Employers should give their staff at least a 4-week holiday a year to help employees perform better in their jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.

Living in big cities is bad for people's health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?