Employers should give their staff at least a 4-week holiday a year to help employees perform better in their jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Leaders of companies are supposed to offer more than 28 days of annual leave to all their workers in order to aid their task performance. Whether or not
this
is beneficial to society is a moot point.
However
,
this
essay agrees with the statement because a sufficient amount of holidays per year enables employees to rest and recuperate
,
Remove the comma
apply
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while
improving job satisfaction.
To begin
with, days off are crucial not merely for students, but
also
for workers who are struggling to do their duties days and nights. Providing a 4-week holiday allows employees ample time to rest and retreat, which can lead to improved mental health and increased productivity when they return to
work
.
For example
, they are
finally
able to go on a vacation and spend more time with their family and friends, without thinking about the numerous workloads.
Additionally
,
this
can reduce burnout in workers
due to
the stressful assignments and environment, which could bring detrimental consequences on individuals
such
as anxiety and depression.
Moreover
, a longer holiday period supports a healthier balance between
work
and personal life, which offers substantial benefits for both organisations and employees.
As a result
,
this
could ameliorate
overall
job satisfaction and loyalty to the employer, knowing that they have a guaranteed extended break.
For instance
, a recent study indicates that people who settle down in a company with a great reputation tend to enjoy their job and manage to stay much longer. In conclusion, every staff member needs to get at least a month of
work
leave.
Therefore
, they would love and enjoy doing their
work
and get a better
work
-life balance,
while
spending quality time with their loved ones.
Submitted by maisarahamirah16 on

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly delineates your stance. The opening sentence could be more refined to explicitly include your viewpoint and better introduce the subsequent arguments.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples and evidence to robustly support your points. While your ideas are clear, grounding them with detailed examples would enhance your essay's persuasiveness.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the flow between paragraphs and ideas by using more varied and sophisticated connecting phrases. This can improve the overall coherence and cohesion of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a clear and organized structure, advancing from introduction to body paragraphs, and concluding effectively.
task achievement
You have effectively elaborated on the benefits of a 4-week holiday for employees, explaining how it can improve both mental health and job satisfaction.

Your opinion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Rest and recuperate
  • Increased productivity
  • Mental health
  • Enhanced creativity
  • Problem-solving
  • Reduced burnout
  • Job satisfaction
  • Work-life balance
  • Long-term benefits
  • Motivated workforce
  • Mental space
  • Extended break
  • Employee performance
  • Healthier workforce
  • Ample time
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