Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary.

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Some
people
argue that having
considerable
Correct article usage
a considerable
show examples
wage is more important than being happy for their
job
.
However
, I disagree about that because of
motivation
and the demonstration of
self-value
from
job
satisfaction. It is not deniable that
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
salary from employment may increase happiness for
people
. They can achieve the goal of financial independence with more income for supporting their family and returning money for their study loan, meaning that they could feel less stressed and anxious about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
financial difficulty,
However
, most
people
could
Verb problem
do
show examples
not have strong
motivation
to continue their
job
if they are not happy about their working contents, even though they get paid with good income.
For example
,
people
could
Verb problem
do
show examples
not have
motivation
Correct article usage
the motivation
show examples
and enthusiasm to attend
work
on time
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
based
Correct your spelling
basis
show examples
when they think their
job
waste
Correct subject-verb agreement
wastes
show examples
their time,
as a result
, they could
loss
Replace the word
lose
show examples
their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
or impact their well-being after complaining they
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
show examples
concentrate on their boring
job
.
Moreover
, demonstrating
self-value
is the main part of the feeling of satisfaction at
work
.
People
can see their strengths and passion
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
their
work
performance when they have
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
level of
job
satisfaction, which can inspire them to explore more interesting
practice
Fix the agreement mistake
practices
show examples
at
work
, especially for those
people
who
work
in the art industry. If employees
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
show examples
achieve their
self-value
at
work
, they
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
show examples
have more achievement in their career with their unique skills or
personality
Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
show examples
resulting in insufficient
motivation
at
work
. It could potentially impact the economic development
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
society. In conclusion, I believe having
job
satisfactions
Fix the agreement mistake
satisfaction
show examples
can improve employees’
motivation
and showcase their
self-value
.
Submitted by Liz on

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task response
To strengthen your task response score, ensure that each main point is fully developed with sufficient supporting details. This can make your arguments more compelling and demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs with topic sentences for each main point. This will improve the overall coherence and make the logical structure more evident to the reader.
task response
Provide more specific and detailed examples to illustrate your points. Specific examples can serve as strong evidence and make your arguments more convincing.
task response
You provide clear and comprehensive ideas, making your stance on the topic evident. This contributes positively to your task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, which helps to frame your argument clearly and maintain cohesion throughout the text.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
What to do next:
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