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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph shows the number of books that were borrowed in four different months in 2014 from four village libraries, and the pie chart shows the percentage of books, by type, that were borrowed over this time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph shows the number of books that were borrowed in four different months in 2014 from four village libraries, and the pie chart shows the percentage of books, by type, that were borrowed over this time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#line #books #four #months #village #libraries #percentage #type #time #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The provided line
graph
Use synonyms
 shows the amount of
books
Use synonyms
 that were borrowed
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 four different libraries in 2014,
while
Linking Words
 the pie chart illustrates the percentage of various
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
types of
books
Use synonyms
 in 4 different months. Generally, as
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can be seen in the
graph
Use synonyms
 there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
considerable
Add an article
a considerable
the considerable
show examples
 upward trend in the number of West Eaton and Church Mount,
whereas
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 Ryeslip presented
downward
Correct article usage
a downward
show examples
 tendency, another interesting point was Sutton Wood, which rocketed down,
then
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 suddenly increased. Meanwhile, the most popular type of book was fiction and the
least
Correct your spelling
last
show examples
 one was self-help
books
Use synonyms
 as
it showed
Wrong verb form
shown
show examples
 in the pie
graph
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.
According to
Linking Words
 the line
graph
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,
firstly
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, the Sutton Wood increased slightly in July,
then
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 dropped dramatically in August from 270 to 100 and after in September it rose significantly to 300.
Secondly
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, both West Eaton and Church Mount went up lightly until 150. And
finally
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, the Ryeslip area decreased smoothly from 300 to around 170.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 it can be noticed that the most famous type of
Use synonyms
books
Fix the agreement mistake
book
show examples
 was fiction showing just under
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half, followed by a tiny minority
biographies
Change preposition
of biographies
show examples
.
In addition
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, under the quarter
books
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 were noticed in two categories,history and science. And in the
last
Linking Words
 place was occupied by self-help
books
Use synonyms
, which showed only a 10%
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words graph, books with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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