IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The graph shows the percentage of women working in 6 countries in 1960, 1970 and 1980. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting on th e main features and make comparisons where relevant

The graph shows the percentage of women working in 6 countries in 1960, 1970 and 1980. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting on th e main features and make comparisons where relevant
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The bar chart illustrates
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 proportion of women who go to
compelete
Correct your spelling
complete
 their education in six countries which are
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
,
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
, Canada ,Japan and Germany in 1970 and 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that Both Canada and
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 had the same rate of female school who going to higher education in 2005.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, Both Canada and
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 had the same figure which is the highest number in 2005 around 60 per cent.
while
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
Japan had the lowest figure
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bout
Correct your spelling
about
show examples
 19 per cent in 1970.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in the
UK
Use synonyms
 was increasing from 35 to reach 60
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
 , Japan had 15
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
then
Linking Words
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 until
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
nearly 35 per cent.

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words uk with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • employment rate
  • percentage
  • decade
  • increase/decrease
  • compare/contrast
  • significant
  • socio-economic factors
  • progressive
  • minimal changes
  • hypothesize
  • global developments
  • regional developments
  • influence
  • trend analysis
  • workforce participation
  • historical context
  • labor market
  • gender gap
  • employment policies
  • cultural norms
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