IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

The bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #ten #countries #production #consumption #electricity #summarise #information #features #comparisons
As can be seen, the
amount
 of electricity that was produced in China was 5398
billion
kWh
 in 2014
while
, In Brazil the
amount
 of electricity that was produced was roughly 10 times lower than
Change preposition
in china
show examples
china
Capitalize word
China
show examples
 in the same year. The United States stood in second place for production and consumption at 4099
billion
kWh
 and 3866
billion
kWh
, respectively. Korea, Rep was located in the lowest
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
rank, Which means
this
 country was the least consuming country among ten countries at 449
billion
kWh
.
Whereas
 all the countries the
amount
 of production of electricity was higher than the
amount
 of consumption but Germany was vice versa
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 means 526.6
billion
kWh
 and 582.5
billion
kWh
 were the
amount
 of production and consumption, respectively.
Submitted by arminafkhami on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words amount, billion, kwh with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 5 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • electricity production
  • electricity consumption
  • disparity
  • significant
  • top ten countries
  • main features
  • compare
  • relevant
  • geographical concentration
  • trends
  • patterns
  • implications
What to do next:
Look at other essays: