IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The diagram below shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories. (Unpaid work refers to such activities as childcare in the home, housework and gardening.) Describe the information presented below, comparing results for men and women in the categories shown. Suggest reasons for what you see.

The diagram below shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories. (Unpaid work refers to such activities as childcare in the home, housework and gardening.) Describe the information presented below, comparing results for men and women in the categories shown. Suggest reasons for what you see.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart illustrates the number of average
hours
Use synonyms
 which married people in different 3 groups spent on doing
chore
Fix the agreement mistake
chores
show examples
 in a
week
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen from the chart that married women significantly spent more time doing housework than men in every group. To commence, by far the highest average time
spending
Replace the word
spent
show examples
 on doing unpaid activities, married female people with more than 3 kids did chore tasks around 60
hours
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
, which was twice higher than a
women
Fix the agreement mistake
woman
show examples
 without kids in a family. Followed by women who have less than 3
children
Use synonyms
, doing
such
Linking Words
 tasks just above 50
hours
Use synonyms
 in a
week
Use synonyms
, which was almost three times as
much
Correct quantifier usage
many
show examples
hours
Use synonyms
 as men did
such
Linking Words
 a job.
Conversely
Linking Words
, all males in different groups spent time on weekly routine housework lower than 20
hours
Use synonyms
. Men with more than 3
children
Use synonyms
 have the lowest
hours
Use synonyms
 weekly job, approximately 18
hours
Use synonyms
 a
week
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 those who have
children
Use synonyms
 less than 3
children
Use synonyms
 or who do not have
children
Use synonyms
did
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
such
Linking Words
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 just under 20
hours
Use synonyms
 a
week
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, week, children with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • diagram
  • unpaid work
  • categories
  • average hours
  • men
  • women
  • comparison
  • overview
  • highest
  • differences
  • reasons
  • childcare
  • housework
  • gardening
  • gender roles
  • societal expectations
  • cultural norms
  • work-life balance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: