IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The chart shows the percentage of men and woman living in poverty devided into ten different age groups in the United States in 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant

The chart shows the percentage of men and woman living in poverty devided into ten different age groups in the United States in 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant
#percentage #men #woman #poverty #ten #age #groups #states #information #features #comparison
The given graph provides information about the rates of
poverty
considereing
Correct your spelling
considering
 the age and gender of the Americans in 2008. Generally, it can be seen that females have lower
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
states
Correct your spelling
status
show examples
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to men.
In addition
, comparing both genders at the elderly stage, results show that
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
show examples
 are
apporoximatly
Correct your spelling
approximately
 twice poorer than men.
However
, there is a slight difference between the
poverty
rate
 of children
againg
Correct your spelling
ageing
again
 17 or under and they do not vary significantly.
On the other hand
, the graph
illustartes
Correct your spelling
illustrates
 that people
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their midlife tend to have the lowest
poverty
rate
 in both genders.
Whereas
, youth
aging
Replace the word
aged
show examples
 from 5 to 24 tend to have the highest
rate
 among all group ages in the United States.
Overall
, numbers elaborate that the mid-age American
poplulation
Correct your spelling
population
have have
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 a higher
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
states
Correct your spelling
status
show examples
in contrast
 to others.
further
 more kids are struggling with
poverty
 and
rate
Correct your spelling
have
show examples
 lower incomes.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words poverty, rate with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: