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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart shows the percentage of men and woman living in poverty devided into ten different age groups in the United States in 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant

The chart shows the percentage of men and woman living in poverty devided into ten different age groups in the United States in 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant
#percentage #men #woman #poverty #ten #age #groups #states #information #features #comparison
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The given graph provides information about the rates of
poverty
Use synonyms
considereing
Correct your spelling
considering
 the age and gender of the Americans in 2008. Generally, it can be seen that females have lower
economical
Replace the word
economic
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states
Correct your spelling
status
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comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
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 to men.
In addition
Linking Words
, comparing both genders at the elderly stage, results show that
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
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 are
apporoximatly
Correct your spelling
approximately
 twice poorer than men.
However
Linking Words
, there is a slight difference between the
poverty
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 of children
againg
Correct your spelling
ageing
again
 17 or under and they do not vary significantly.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the graph
illustartes
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illustrates
 that people
at
Change preposition
in
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 their midlife tend to have the lowest
poverty
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 in both genders.
Whereas
Linking Words
, youth
aging
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aged
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 from 5 to 24 tend to have the highest
rate
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 among all group ages in the United States.
Overall
Linking Words
, numbers elaborate that the mid-age American
poplulation
Correct your spelling
population
have have
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 a higher
economical
Replace the word
economic
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states
Correct your spelling
status
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in contrast
Linking Words
 to others.
further
Linking Words
 more kids are struggling with
poverty
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
rate
Correct your spelling
have
show examples
 lower incomes.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words poverty, rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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