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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graphs below show the number of medals won by the top five countries in the summer and winter Olympics. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graphs below show the number of medals won by the top five countries in the summer and winter Olympics. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar graphs depict the distribution of
medals
Use synonyms
 between the top five
countries
Use synonyms
 in the
winter
Capitalize word
Winter
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 and
summer
Capitalize word
Summer
show examples
 Olympics. When considered together, the information suggests that the information of each
graphs
Change to a singular noun
graph
show examples
 were independent and did not affect one another.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, during the winter, information about what
medals
Use synonyms
 each country achieved
were
Change the verb form
was
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 specified and
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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sorted
according to
Linking Words
 the number of gold placements, with Norway achieving the most, around 140 times.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the times Norway received
both
Use synonyms
 silver and bronze were almost equivalent to its gold
medals
Use synonyms
. Following Norway was the United States, with the number of times reaching first place just barely above the three-digit threshold. The rest of the regions were placed
similarly
Linking Words
 about the digit 75. Uniquely, Russia received
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
medals
Use synonyms
 than Canada
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 but was placed higher in the ranking
due to
Linking Words
 it having more gold placements.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the ranking system in the summer was based on the total amount of
medals
Use synonyms
 achieved. There were
also
Linking Words
 several changes
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the leaderboards. First and foremost, the United States claimed victory with a total of approximately 2500 achievements. Russia and Germany
both
Use synonyms
 had an average of 1750
medals
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 Great Britain and France had roughly 1000 average
medals
Use synonyms
 lower than them, with France being the fifth runner-up. When comparing the two graphs, three
countries
Use synonyms
 have stayed
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the leaderboards, but Germany
being
Wrong verb form
is
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 the sole consistent one, placing third
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
both
Use synonyms
 seasons. The other two
countries
Use synonyms
, the United States and Russia
both
Use synonyms
 have higher placements during summer. In summary, the data given did not see too much correlation.
However
Linking Words
, each
Use synonyms
countries'
Change noun form
country's
show examples
performances
Fix the agreement mistake
performance
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 might vary depending on the time of the year.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words medals, countries, both with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • medal tally
  • top-performing countries
  • notable differences
  • highlight trends
  • summer vs. winter Olympics
  • significant differences
  • overall performance
  • comparative analysis
  • dominance in events
  • athletic prowess
  • statistical comparison
  • consistency in winning
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