The pie charts below show the comparison of different kinds of energy production of France in two years.

#show #comparison #kinds #energy #production #france #two #years

Presented pie carts give the difference between

energy

Correct article usage

the energy

show examples

production of France in two

years

. The graphs show us the percentage of coal,

petro

Correct your spelling

petrol

, nuclear, gas, and other

energy

productions

Fix the agreement mistake

production

show examples

. In general, there was a slight change from 1995 to 2005. Coal

energy

slightly increased from 29.80% to 30.93 in five

years

. The amount of gas production improved: when it was 29.63% in 1995, in 2005 it consisted of 30.31%.

Petro

Correct your spelling

The petrol

show examples

sector made up the biggest change between those two

years

However

, it was a decline from nearly 30% to almost

one fifth

Add a hyphen

one-fifth

show examples

. Nuclear and other

energy

productions

Fix the agreement mistake

production

show examples

dropped to approximately the same number. The former

one

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

belonged to 6.40% in 1995,

after

Correct word choice

and after

show examples

five

years

it became

one tenth

Add a hyphen

one-tenth

show examples

. The latter production jumped from nearly

one

twentys

Correct your spelling

per cent

to around 9%.

Submitted by zerdeteacher2024 on Tue Jul 23 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Add more linking words.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, years, one with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.

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1Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

129 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The pie charts below show the comparison of different kinds of energy production of France in two years.

Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skill. Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, the number of animals and plant declining? Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved

Some people think that modern games can help children develop a wide range of skills, but others argue that traditional games can be much better for developing such skills. TO what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that the current obsession with technology and the internet means that we are creating a generation of people that have poor social skills.

Many countries have embraced tourism as a way to boost their economies and create jobs for local residents. However, some argue that tourism can have negative impacts on the environment and local cultures. What are advantages and disadvantages of tourism for a country.