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Band 5.5

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
#bar #percentage #australian #men #women #age #groups #activity
The bar
chart
 illustrates
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
 of different sexes on Australian regular physical
activitiy
Correct your spelling
activity
 in 2010.
Chart
Correct article usage
The chart
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break
Change the verb form
breaks
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 the
age
 groups
Change preposition
into
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six categories, from 15 to
from
Change preposition
apply
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65 and over.
Overall
,
females
 more exercise than
males
except
Add the preposition
except for
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 the
age
between
Change preposition
of
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 15 to 24.
According to
 the
chart
,
males
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
age
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
35 to 44 contribute
smallest
Correct article usage
the smallest
show examples
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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, 39.5, which is the only feature in the
chart
 below the 40%
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Also
,
this
age
 group's sex has
the
Correct article usage
a
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 significant gap compared
the
Change preposition
to the
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 other
age
 groups, approximately 12.5%.
In addition
,
females
 the
age
 of 45-54 and 55-64 contribute
largest
Correct article usage
the largest
show examples
percent
Replace the word
percentage
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 of the
chart
, 53.3% and 53% respectively. The youngest and oldest
females
Change the noun form
female
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groups
Change noun form
groups'
group's
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 daily exercise is similar to each other, 47.7 and 47.1 respectively.
On the other hand
males
Change noun form
males'
male's
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 daily physical activity
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 was fluctional
compored
Correct your spelling
compared
 to
females
Change noun form
females'
female's
show examples
percent
. In the end, the
females
 and
males
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 almost
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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equal
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Submitted by bkardelenyilmazz on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, age, females, males, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 5 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical activity
  • Regular exercise
  • Age demographics
  • Participation rate
  • Trend analysis
  • Gender disparity
  • Health initiatives
  • Public health policies
  • Statistical comparison
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Work commitments
  • Age-related factors
  • Preventative health
  • Exercise habits
  • Surveillance data
  • Motivators and barriers
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