The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton

The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The diagram represents the process
manufacturing
Change preposition
of manufacturing
show examples
bricks
Use synonyms
for the building industry.
Overall
Linking Words
,the production includes several stages,
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
with material extraction and ending with packaging and delivery of the brick materials. At first,the clay is dug from the ground using a digger.After that,the clay is transferred to
metal
Add an article
a metal
show examples
grid on a roller before being mixed
sand
Change preposition
with sand
show examples
and water. From
this
Linking Words
, they have two choices for being done
their
Change preposition
with their
show examples
formal
bricks
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
wire
Correct article usage
a wire
show examples
cutter is being used to cut the clay mixture into
bricks
Use synonyms
, or use to mould for having
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
bricks
a brick
show examples
bricks
Use synonyms
At the next stage of the process the
brics
Correct your spelling
bricks
transferred to
drying
Correct article usage
a drying
show examples
oven,where they remain for 24-48 hours.After that, they go through two stages.The first kiln is moderated
about
Change preposition
at about
show examples
200C -980C
while
Linking Words
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
higher temperature kiln operates at temperatures from about f 870- 1300 C.
Therefore
Linking Words
,they are moved to a cooling chamber for 48 to 72 hours.The cooling
brick
Fix the agreement mistake
bricks
show examples
are packaged
Linking Words
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
is being
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
delivered by truck.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words bricks with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: