some people feel that businesses should be encouraged to move to rural areas as and transport accommodation problems are now increasing in many large cities. Others believe that this is not necessary. Discuss both sides of this debate. Where do you stand on this debate?

It is said that many metropolises experience increasing transport accommodation issues today.
While
some people believe that businesses should be suggested to move to rural
areas
into consideration to achieve
this
goal, others argue that it should be excluded from the options
due to
some plausible reasons. There are valid opinions on both sides, which I will consider now. On the one side, proponents of the business movement from big cities to the countryside argue that. relocation of organizations can reduce the population density in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
urban
areas
.
As a consequence
, the influx of workers
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
in rush hours which causes traffic congestion would disappear.
In addition
, It seems that the movement of companies’ headquarters makes way for the construction of more residential
areas
, so the citizens would no longer have to live in narrow houses and apartments anymore.
Furthermore
, several people
also
think that factories carry
along with
them modern production lines to the suburban
areas
.
Therefore
the rural population might have access to
such
cutting-edge technological advancements, which have been by no means close to them ever. On the other side,
however
, the opponents of
this
view say that it is impossible
that
Correct word choice
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
entrepreneurs can easily move from
city
Fix the agreement mistake
cities
show examples
to rural
areas
without suffering any losses. A change in terms of position may cost a firm,
for instance
, a reduction in the quality of its workforce.
This
is because not only every employee is willing to resettle in a faraway province, but
also
they prefer seeking another career in the metropolis to maintain their current living standards.
Moreover
, the enterprises have to handle
such
risk of brain drain that companies would have to hire local workers. It appears that workers from villages are normally less competent. The expenses for their prerequisite training courses are significant, but an improvement in their professional performance would still not be guaranteed. Taking everything into account, in spite of some potential drawbacks, it seems to me that businesses that are relocated from cities to rural
areas
are worth implementing. because of the positive impacts that
this
brings
such
reduction of traffic congestion and technological advancements in rural
areas
. Of course,
this
provided that entrepreneurs do not suffer any losses.
Submitted by k a l l a on

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task achievement
Ensure that all arguments are elaborated with relevant and detailed examples to strengthen your position. This will help to make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Watch out for occasional awkward phrasing or minor grammatical errors. Proofreading can help to identify and correct these issues.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly states the topic and outlines the opposing views, which helps set the stage for a balanced discussion.
logical structure
Main points are logically structured and easy to follow, which aids in coherence and overall readability.
introduction conclusion present
The essay concludes with a clear personal stance, tying together the discussion points effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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