The charts below show the percentages of men and women aged 60-64 in employment in four countries in 1970 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the percentages of men and women aged 60-64 in employment in four countries in 1970 and 2000.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The charts below delineate the employed people aged between 60 and 64 divided by gender in four distinct countries in 1970 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, the rate of employment for males in 1970 was more than it was in 2000, indicating a declining trend in the workforce of
this
Linking Words
generation.
In contrast
Linking Words
, during
this
Linking Words
period, women tended to be less employed than men.
While
Linking Words
men in Belgium showed a high employment rate in the workforce back in 1970, accounting for 79%, it plummeted to only 19% 20
years
Use synonyms
later.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, 73% of the US elderlies were employed in 1970.
However
Linking Words
, it decreased by 18% until 2000.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Japan had the most employed men among the others in both
years
Use synonyms
, making up 85% and 74% of the proportion respectively. 74% of Australians were occupied in 1970 but it dropped by less than half of the whole proportion.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, women comprised only 8& and 7% of all employees in Belgium in these 20
years
Use synonyms
. American female workers used to make up 36% but their population rose by 39% during
this
Linking Words
period. Adding to that, Japanese ladies, within
this
Linking Words
age, formed 43% of the whole population in 1970 and 40% 20
years
Use synonyms
later.
Finally
Linking Words
, In Australia,
this
Linking Words
rate was 16% in 1970
whereas
Linking Words
it indicated a 2% rise until 2000.
Submitted by abolfath50 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words years with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • employment rate
  • percentage
  • trend
  • significant change
  • overall employment
  • societal changes
  • economic conditions
  • government policies
  • compare
  • highlight
  • individual country analysis
  • increased/decreased
  • similarities and differences
What to do next:
Look at other essays: