The charts below show the percentages of men and women aged 60-64 in employment in four countries in 1970 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#show #percentages #men #women #employment #four #countries #summarise #information #features #comparisons

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The charts below delineate the employed people aged between 60 and 64 divided by gender in four distinct countries in 1970 and 2000.

Overall

Linking Words

, the rate of employment for males in 1970 was more than it was in 2000, indicating a declining trend in the workforce of

this

Linking Words

generation.

In contrast

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, during

this

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period, women tended to be less employed than men.

While

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men in Belgium showed a high employment rate in the workforce back in 1970, accounting for 79%, it plummeted to only 19% 20

years

Use synonyms

later.

Furthermore

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, 73% of the US elderlies were employed in 1970.

However

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, it decreased by 18% until 2000.

Moreover

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, Japan had the most employed men among the others in both

years

Use synonyms

, making up 85% and 74% of the proportion respectively. 74% of Australians were occupied in 1970 but it dropped by less than half of the whole proportion.

Nevertheless

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, women comprised only 8& and 7% of all employees in Belgium in these 20

years

Use synonyms

. American female workers used to make up 36% but their population rose by 39% during

this

Linking Words

period. Adding to that, Japanese ladies, within

this

Linking Words

age, formed 43% of the whole population in 1970 and 40% 20

years

Use synonyms

later.

Finally

Linking Words

, In Australia,

this

Linking Words

rate was 16% in 1970

whereas

Linking Words

it indicated a 2% rise until 2000.

Submitted by abolfath50 on Tue Jul 30 2024

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words years with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

▼

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

216 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

employment rate
percentage
trend
significant change
overall employment
societal changes
economic conditions
government policies
compare
highlight
individual country analysis
increased/decreased
similarities and differences

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The charts below show the percentages of men and women aged 60-64 in employment in four countries in 1970 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The increasing housing problem in big cities has social consequences. Some people say that only governments can solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

You are a student living in university accommodation. The heating has not worked for some time. Write a letter to the management. In your letter Explain why you complain; Describe the problems Tell what you want them to do

The best way to solve the traffic and transportation problem is to encourage people to live in cities rather than suburbs or countryside. What are the effects of rapid population growth in the city? How can the quality of life city dwellers be maintain?

More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?

You are planning to go and study English at a school overseas.You would like some information about their courses.Write a letter to the school.In your letter Ask about the school Say what kind of accommodation you want Mention any special requests you have