‘Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of above appearance.’ Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.
Recently, most
the
organisations Correct article usage
apply
learn
from each other, Wrong verb form
have learned
for
Change preposition
apply
that
they think Add a comma
that,
to
Change preposition
of dressing
dress
their employees
smartly to have high
Correct article usage
a high
prestage
, in order to Correct your spelling
prestige
make
the people Verb problem
attract
atractt
to that Correct your spelling
attracted
attract
company
, that help
them to be the same group.
On one hand, companies’ employers think that Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
employees
should dress
smartly, that
Correct pronoun usage
which
give
the Change the verb form
gives
company
nice
Correct article usage
a nice
appearance
and high prestige. Also
, give them nice
look and easy to recognize the worker in the Correct article usage
a nice
company
. In addition
, dressing worker
smartly makes the Fix the agreement mistake
workers
cleint
more Correct your spelling
client
likly
to Correct your spelling
likely
work
with that company
because they have attractive
Add an article
an attractive
appearance
and look more professional. Furthermore
, dressing the employees
smartly gives high value to the company
for example
, the client before to
choosing the Change preposition
apply
company
they
will look for the outfit of the Correct pronoun usage
apply
employees
in order to work
with them or not.
On the other hand
, there are some people who don’t like to have the same look or dress
smartly. Because they value the idea of being comfortable than
looking smart. They believe that when they Rephrase
rather than
work
inside their offices and don’t meet important clients there is no need to wear smart suits because the only thing that matters here is their work
not
their Add the comma(s)
, not
appearance
. Moreover
, the organisation should care of
the Change preposition
about
qulaity
of Correct your spelling
quality
product
or services more than Fix the agreement mistake
products
appearance
of Add an article
the appearance
employees
because that the
most Add a missing verb
is the
emportant
for the client. The Correct your spelling
important
custmers usualy
look for the product more than the outlook for the worker.
Correct your spelling
Customers usually
To sum up
, some jobs and companies need to care for
their Change preposition
about
appearance
but other jobs especially jobs that need more creativity don’t. In my opinion, organisations should not force the
Correct article usage
apply
employees
to dress
smartly because that makes them unhappy and controlled. That make
the Change the verb form
makes
employees
limit their thinking when they work
.Submitted by moneeraawda on
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task achievement
The introduction should clearly outline both perspectives from the outset to better frame the argument. Also, it should mention your own opinion to set the stage for the essay.
coherence cohesion
There are some grammatical errors and spelling mistakes that should be corrected to improve clarity and coherence. For instance, 'prestage' should be 'prestige,' 'attractt' should be 'attract,' and 'cleint' should be 'client.'
task achievement
Try to provide more relevant and specific examples to support your main points. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
The essay addresses both perspectives and provides a clear opinion in the conclusion, satisfying the basic requirements of the task response.
coherence cohesion
The essay is organized into paragraphs that separate different arguments, which aids in maintaining a logical structure.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion attempts to sum up the arguments presented and offers a clear personal opinion, which helps in drawing the essay to a close.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?