The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of Australian people doing sports
regular
Change the adjective
regularly
show examples
for the year 2012. The group of individuals is separated
on
Change preposition
into
show examples
different
ages
Change the noun form
age
show examples
groups men and women.
Moreover
, the scheme presents 6 age
category
Fix the agreement mistake
categories
show examples
from 15 to 65 and higher. My plan for
this
writing task is to compare presented groups,
according to
the table information. The most active men were from 15 to 24 slightly less than 53%,
while
the smallest percent (39.5%) was attributed to middle-aged males aged 35â€"44 the difference is almost 14%.
Also
, people under 35,
according to
the chart weren't big fans of constant physical
exercises
Fix the agreement mistake
exercise
show examples
, around 42% did some
kinds
Fix the agreement mistake
kind
show examples
of
activities
Fix the agreement mistake
activity
show examples
regularly. At the same time, women in Australia were more physically active. People 35-44 years with an average of 528 and above.
In Addition
, adults aged from 25-34 are standing at 48%.
Lastly
, the teenagers aged between 15-24 have secured an average of 47%
To sum up
, I would like to say that Australian ladies were more physically fit than Australian gentlemen.
the
Capitalize word
The
show examples
average difference was 5%.
Submitted by viktoria.popova92 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to".
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "presents" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Percentage
  • Australian men
  • Australian women
  • Age groups
  • Regular physical activity
  • Participated
  • Increased
  • Decreased
  • Proportion
  • Physically active
  • Gender difference
  • Engaged
  • Exercise
What to do next:
Look at other essays: