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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The provided line chart illustrates the percentage of average change in the cost compared with the previous month of three metals for one year in 2014. They are categorized as copper, nickel and zinc.

The provided line chart illustrates the percentage of average change in the cost compared with the previous month of three metals for one year in 2014. They are categorized as copper, nickel and zinc.
The above graph shows the average change in prices of metal substances
copper
Use synonyms
,
nickel
Use synonyms
 and
zinc
Use synonyms
 every month in the year 2014. To start off,
nickel
Use synonyms
 can be seen to be the highest
price
Use synonyms
 of other
material
Fix the agreement mistake
materials
show examples
while
Linking Words
zinc
Use synonyms
 is the lowest, making
copper
Use synonyms
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
have the middle
price
Use synonyms
 in January 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
 from the graph,
nickel
Use synonyms
 has the most drastic changes compared to
copper
Use synonyms
 and
zinc
Use synonyms
 throughout the year,
while
Linking Words
copper
Use synonyms
 is able to maintain the most stable rate. In the beginning, the
price
Use synonyms
 of
zinc
Use synonyms
 increased in February from 1% to 3%, but starting from there
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
be
having
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 the same pattern as
nickel
Use synonyms
, which
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
continuously
having
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 significant changes every month. Other than that, it
also
Linking Words
 can be seen that
copper
Use synonyms
able
Add a missing verb
was able
show examples
 to sustain its
price
Use synonyms
 and making it able to finish off in the middle again
at the end
Linking Words
 of the year
while
Linking Words
zinc
Use synonyms
 and
nickel
Use synonyms
 switched places after fluctuating with the lowest rate to be recorded by
nickel
Use synonyms
 is at -3% on June and -1% for
zinc
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 on the same month.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, while".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words copper, nickel, zinc, price with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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