The bar chart below shows the numbers of men and women attending various evening courses at an adult education centre in the year 2009. The pie chart gives information about the ages of these course participants. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

IELTS Writing Task Chart for The bar chart below shows the numbers of men and women attending various evening courses at an adult education centre in the year 2009. The pie chart gives information about the ages of these course participants. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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This

Linking Words

bar chart shows us information about the participants of an adult education centre. Overview, the language

course

Use synonyms

is the most attended one. comes after it, the painting

course

Use synonyms

then

Linking Words

, the drama

course

Use synonyms

and the

last

Linking Words

one

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

the

Correct word choice

and the

show examples

sculpture

course

Use synonyms

, all of them,

women

Use synonyms

participants are more than

men

Use synonyms

except for the sculpture

course

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, most of the adult education centre members are Aged above 50.

To begin

Linking Words

with, 42% of the participants are above 50 years old , after that 26% are between the age of 40-49,

then

Linking Words

16% are between 30-39 years old,

then

Linking Words

11% are between 20-29 years old,

lastly

Linking Words

5% are under the age of 20,

However

Linking Words

, the

women

Use synonyms

are more than

men

Use synonyms

by 20 members.

Finally

Linking Words

, the biggest

course

Use synonyms

is the language class which contains 40

women

Use synonyms

and 20

men

Use synonyms

, Next is, the painting

course

Use synonyms

with 30

women

Use synonyms

and 25

men

Use synonyms

, and after that comes the drama

course

Use synonyms

with 20

women

Use synonyms

and 10

men

Use synonyms

Last

Linking Words

but not least, the sculpture

course

Use synonyms

is the only

course

Use synonyms

where

men

Use synonyms

are more than

women

Use synonyms

with 10

men

Use synonyms

and 5

women

Use synonyms

mubark.s.fawazThu Aug 01 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, last".

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words course, women, men with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

184 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

attendance
adult education centre
participants
demographics
evening courses
language course
art course
participation rates
gender distribution
age group
main features
comparisons
summarise
highlight
analyze
popularity

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