You live in a small university town. Last week, you drove it to a big city about two hours away to buy a new laptop at a good price. You worked on the laptop all week and finished writing a long assignment that is due shortly. In your letter: • Tell the store where you leave & what happened • Explain the problem with the laptop • State what action you would like this store to take

#university #town #week #city #two #hours #laptop #price #assignment #store #action

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Dear SIR or MADAM I am

penning

Verb problem

writing

show examples

this

Linking Words

letter from a teeny university town. A short time ago

for buying

Change preposition

to buy

show examples

a new

laptop

Use synonyms

, I went to your store

through

Change preposition

show examples

the large city

about

Change preposition

for about

show examples

two hours. I thought

Use synonyms

laptop

Correct article usage

the laptop

show examples

which I

choose

Wrong verb form

chose

show examples

was not only satisfactory but

also

Linking Words

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

was

contemporary

Add an article

a contemporary

the contemporary

show examples

model. I want to

using

Change the verb

use

show examples

laptop

Use synonyms

for my assignment. But right now I writing to complain about after one week the

laptop

Use synonyms

totally

get

Verb problem

went

show examples

off. I'm disappointed because

Use synonyms

laptop

Correct pronoun usage

my laptop

show examples

not only stopped working but

also

Linking Words

wasn't turns

Change the verb form

wasn't turned

show examples

on.

Most

Add an article

The most

show examples

important thing is my

laptop

Use synonyms

projects and my assignments were deleted. It makes me more angry. I suggest that you replace the item. Because the

laptop

Use synonyms

helps me not only in my assignments but

also

Linking Words

in communicating with my relatives and friends. I wish your store have to mix my

laptop

Use synonyms

without

wage

Add an article

a wage

show examples

. And I hope

this

Linking Words

will not be returned again.

Your

Correct the word

Yours

show examples

faithfully Davronova Jasmina

Submitted by omondavlat91 on Fri Aug 02 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

greeting and closing

Ensure you format your letter correctly by using a consistent case for greetings and closures (e.g., 'Dear Sir or Madam' instead of 'Dear SIR or MADAM').

single idea per paragraph

Make sure each paragraph covers a single idea clearly and logically. For example, separate details about the problem with the laptop and the importance of the laptop to your work into different paragraphs for better clarity.

suitable writing tone

Maintain a polite yet firm tone and avoid emotional language for a more formal and suitable writing tone.

complete response

You have mentioned all the key points required in the task, such as the problem with the laptop and the desired action.

logical structure

The letter is generally clear and has a logical progression from one point to another, making it easy to understand the situation.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

2
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

7 paragraphs

157 words

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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Nowadays many countries have very cosmopolitan cities with people from all over the world. How can government ensure that all these people can live together harmoniously?

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Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?