IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

You bought a TV a week ago but when you got home you discovered it did not work properly. You called customer service to report the problem but you have not yet received any help ■introduce yourself ■explain problem ■and state what action you would like from the company

#tv #week #home #work #customer #service #report #help #■introduce #■explain #■and #action #company
Dear Sir or Madam I am writing about the problem with
TV
Correct article usage
the TV
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 which I bought
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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on
first
Correct article usage
the first
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August
Change preposition
of August
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 from your central store in Oxford Street. My work as
teacher
Add an article
a teacher
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 involves watching
TV
 for searching and
learning
Wrong verb form
learn
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 news,
Correct word choice
and informations
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informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
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in
Change preposition
apply
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per day. It was uncomfortable
due to
TV
Correct article usage
the TV
show examples
 not working well,
not to mention
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
sharing new ideas with my students. After a few
days
Add a comma
days,
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 I started having headaches and my productivity dramatically decreased. The
TV
 that I
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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bought
it
Correct your spelling
is
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LG
Correct article usage
an LG
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 42 model. When I bought it, I
assured
Add a missing verb
was assured
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 by the saler,
TV
Correct article usage
the TV
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 was working fine. To my surprise, after I went
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
home, it wasn't working properly.
Although
 I called your store about the problem two days
aga
Correct your spelling
ago
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 nothing has been done yet. I suggest that you replace the item
which
Correct your spelling
with
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 the best quality and expect a reply from you as soon as possible.
Also
, I deserve appropriate compensation for the inconvenience caused to me . I look forward
a
Change preposition
to a
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resolution to my problem .
Your
Correct the word
Yours
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 faithfully Shodiyona
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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task achievement
Ensure that you provide detailed and specific examples regarding the TV's malfunction to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Organize your paragraphs more effectively for enhanced readability. Consider using separate paragraphs for your introduction, problem explanation, actions requested, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Correct minor grammatical errors and improve sentence structures for better clarity and formality.
task achievement
You have successfully introduced yourself and the problem clearly and succinctly.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear beginning, middle, and end, which makes your intentions easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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