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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

You bought a TV a week ago but when you got home you discovered it did not work properly.You called customer service to report the problem but you have not yet received any help. Write a letter to the company and in your letter: #introduce yourself #explain the problem #and state what action you would like from the company

#tv #week #home #work #customer #service #report #help #company #action
Dear Sir/Madam I am writing to complain about your company enterprise workers.
Firstly
, my full name is Komiljonova Komilaxon.I live in
center
Add an article
the center
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 of Karshi.Your company
located
Add a missing verb
is located
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 on the outskirts of the city of Karshi.A week ago,I bought a
TV
your
Change preposition
from your
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 company.I found my long desired
TV
 in your store.
Then
 I bought
Correct article usage
a
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TV
did
Correct pronoun usage
that did
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 not work when I got home. Suddenly,I called customer service to report the problem.Customer services replied
me
Change preposition
to me
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.They got my address and they asked about my problem.They
said
Add the punctuation
said,
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 "We will go for 2 hours". 4 hours passed but they did not come.I waited. 2days passed
then
 I got angry.Because I had not yet received any help.That's why,I am writing you a letter of complaint.I am very angry.Why
do not
Correct your spelling
don't
your
Correct pronoun usage
you
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 serve your employees on time? I look forward to receiving a full refund.You do not have to replace the
TV
.You must receive a full refund
my
Change preposition
of my
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 money.
Your
Correct the word
Yours
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 sincerely, Komiljonova Komilaxon
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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task response
The letter addresses all the points required by the task, but it could benefit from more precise and formal language.
coherence cohesion
Try to clearly separate each major point into different paragraphs. This will make your letter more organized and easier to read.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your letter follows a logical structure. For example, after introducing yourself, you could explain the problem, then detail your previous attempts to resolve it, and finally state the desired outcome.
task response
Maintain a formal tone throughout your letter, especially when making a complaint. Avoid using phrases like 'I am very angry'. Instead, you could write 'I am extremely disappointed with the service I have received.'
task response
The letter clearly introduces the writer and explains the problem with the TV.
coherence cohesion
You have included a greeting and closing, which adds to the politeness and formal structure of the letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • customer service
  • purchased
  • faulty
  • malfunction
  • resolution
  • prompt
  • replacement
  • refund
  • technician
  • urgent
  • escalate
  • unsatisfactory
  • disappointed
  • appreciate
  • address
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