IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The pie charts below show the comparison of different kinds of energy production of France in two years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feature, and make comparisons where relevant

The pie charts below show the comparison of different kinds of energy production of France in two years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feature, and make comparisons where relevant
#show #comparison #kinds #energy #production #france #two #years #summarise #information #feature #comparisons
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The pie charts given demonstrate many types of
energy
Use synonyms
 production
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
France
Use synonyms
 in
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
 1995 and 2005 .
Firstly
Linking Words
 , in 1995 ,
France
Use synonyms
 had produced 29.80% of coal .
Secondly
Linking Words
 ,
France
Use synonyms
 had 29.63% of gas in 1995 approximately is same the
coal
Change preposition
as coal
show examples
 .
Furthermore
Linking Words
 , in 1995, was
France
Use synonyms
 29.27% of petrol .
Moreover
Linking Words
 , nuclear
in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 another type of
energy
Use synonyms
 and
France
Use synonyms
 had produced 6.40 in 1995 .
Also
Linking Words
 , there are
onother
Correct your spelling
other
 kindes of
energy
Use synonyms
 in
France
Use synonyms
 4.90% .
In addition
Linking Words
 , in 2005 ,
France
Use synonyms
 had
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
 level of coal actually 30.93% .
Besides
Linking Words
 ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
gas
one
Add a missing verb
is one
show examples
 of the most
types
Correct word choice
important types
show examples
 of
energy
Use synonyms
France
Use synonyms
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
produced in 2005 30.31 .
Additionally
Linking Words
 ,
France
Use synonyms
 had produced 19.55% of petro and 10.10% of
nulcear
Correct your spelling
nuclear
 in 2005 .
Finally
Linking Words
 , in 2005
France
Use synonyms
 had 9.10% of other
energy
Use synonyms
 .
To conclude
Linking Words
 ,
although
Linking Words
France
Use synonyms
 had
a different kinds
Correct the article-noun agreement
a different kind
different kinds
show examples
 of
energy
Use synonyms
 the
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
 in
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 years
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 not
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 .
France
Use synonyms
 produced huge litters and
killograms
Correct your spelling
kilograms
 of coal
then
Linking Words
 gas after that petrol .
Submitted by alkmariam345 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, france with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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