IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given bar chart illustrates the amount of
hours
Use synonyms
 which both genders spend on leisure
time
Use synonyms
 is large for
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 categories that are unemployed and retired.
While
Linking Words
employed
Correct article usage
the employed
show examples
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 group has lower indicators
according to
Linking Words
 the chart. In the two highest statuses, both men and women have similar amounts of free
time
Use synonyms
. The jobless have more than 80
hours
Use synonyms
, and those who
in
Add a missing verb
are in
show examples
 retirement have slightly less than 80
hours
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, when it comes to employed
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 and housewives
females
Fix the agreement mistake
female
show examples
 indicators are higher. Which is 43, approximately and 58, approximately, respectively.
While
Linking Words
Correct article usage
the males
show examples
males
Change noun form
male's
males'
show examples
 degree is zero. Turning to full-
time
Use synonyms
 employment status, the indicators of men and women are different than it was with unemployed and retired. Males spend almost 50
hours
Use synonyms
, meanwhile females have less than 40
hours
Use synonyms
 of leisure
time
Use synonyms
, respectively.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, time with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • leisure time
  • employment status
  • full-time employment
  • part-time employment
  • unemployed
  • retired
  • housewives
  • gender comparison
  • notable differences
  • allocate time
  • trend analysis
  • work-life balance
  • time management
  • societal norms
  • economic factors
  • gender-specific trends
  • employment transition
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