During a recent plane journey, you sat next to a businessman who owns a chain of restaurants. You talked to him and he suggested that you should contact him about a possible job in one of his restaurants. Write a letter to this businessman. In your letter: • remind him when and where you met • tell him what kind of job you are interested in • say why you think you would be suitable for the job

#plane #journey #businessman #chain #restaurants #contact #job

Dear Sir or Madam I am writing

this

letter to let you know my problems

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

I took a flight to Tashkent city on Uzbekistan

air

Capitalize word

Air

show examples

on January

16 th

Correct your spelling

16th

. By chance. we got together on

this

flight, I was happy to meet you and I know that you are

businessman

Correct article usage

a businessman

show examples

which

run

Change the verb form

runs

show examples

the

restaurant

. I ask you to manage the

restaurant

that is

as a manager because I have been working

Change preposition

at a

show examples

restaurant

in my city for many years. In

restaurant

Add an article

the restaurant

a restaurant

show examples

, where I worked for many years, I learned all the directions. And you can trust me with everything because I have never betrayed anyone. I am giving you

this

offer because I can manage the

restaurant

well. From my point of view, I am suitable for

this

kind of job because I have had work experience over the years. I hope that my qualifications and experience above,

you

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

will give me

this

management position. If I take on

this

position, I believe I will perform well. I really hope to hear back from you soon and one more thing is that I want to quickly come to your

restaurant

to work. I am looking forward to hearing from you. Best regards, Shabnam

Submitted by omondavlat91 on Tue Aug 13 2024

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task achievement

While the overall response is complete, it would benefit from more specific details about your previous work experience. Try to include concrete examples of your achievements or responsibilities in your past roles.

coherence cohesion

Ensure your points are well-organized and logically structured. Some sentences are a bit unclear, such as 'I am giving you this offer,' which can be rephrased for clarity.

coherence cohesion

The letter includes a clear greeting and closing, which contributes to the overall coherence and structure.

task achievement

You identify yourself well and remind the businessman of where you met, fulfilling one of the required tasks.

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

204 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

chain of restaurants
potential job opportunity
relevant experience
managerial role
customer service
qualifications
certifications
unique skills
eagerness
admiration
resume
references
face-to-face meeting

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