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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph shows the percentage of women working in 6 countries in 1960, 1970 and 1980. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting on th e main features and make comparisons where relevant

The graph shows the percentage of women working in 6 countries in 1960, 1970 and 1980. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting on th e main features and make comparisons where relevant
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The provided graph illustrates the proportion of females getting higher education in five countries in 1970 and in 2005. It is immediately evident that all countries, except
Canada
Use synonyms
, showed upward trends during the given period.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in 1979, the figure of
Canada
Use synonyms
 was the highest, exceeding almost 60%,
while
Linking Words
 that of Japan was the lowest, at around only 20%. Specifically, the percentage of
women
Use synonyms
 in
Canada
Use synonyms
 was more than three times that of Japan in 1970. It is notable that the percentage of Canadian
women
Use synonyms
 who decided to go to higher education remained unchanged over the period.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the figure for Japanese
women
Use synonyms
 dramatically increased from 20% to 40%. Another noteworthy point is that
while
Linking Words
 only 40% of American females enrolled in higher institutions in 1970, after 35 years, approximately 58% of
women
Use synonyms
 did, placing it immediately behind
Canada
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, Germany exhibited
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 5%
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
increase at that time, from 50% to 55%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words canada, women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • employment rate
  • percentage
  • decade
  • increase/decrease
  • compare/contrast
  • significant
  • socio-economic factors
  • progressive
  • minimal changes
  • hypothesize
  • global developments
  • regional developments
  • influence
  • trend analysis
  • workforce participation
  • historical context
  • labor market
  • gender gap
  • employment policies
  • cultural norms
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