IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The graph below shows the changing patterns of access to modern technology in homes in the UK ( expressed in percentage terms)

The graph below shows the changing patterns of access to modern technology in homes in the UK ( expressed in percentage terms)
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The graph
displays
Verb problem
shows
show examples
 how
much
Correct quantifier usage
many
show examples
 travellers to England had visited four kinds of amusements in Brighton.
Overall
Linking Words
 , the proportion of all attractions fluctuated gradually, except
patterns
Change preposition
for patterns
show examples
 of
Festival
Fix the agreement mistake
Festivals
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,
Art
Correct article usage
the Art
show examples
 gallery had the lowest figure among all forms of attractions. The average proportion of foreigners who visited attractions in Bringhton stands at between 10% and 30%.The Pavilion guests increased
significiantly
Correct your spelling
significantly
, over the period than other categories. Number of the Pavilion fluctuated wildly in 1995 and reached
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 peak
approximately
Change preposition
of approximately
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 50%.Meanwhile, the Festival slightly decreased from 30% nearly to 28% between 1980 and 2010. The art gallery fractions lagged behind a Pier, despite
apex
Correct article usage
the apex
show examples
.The Pier had
Correct article usage
a significiant
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significiant
Correct your spelling
significant
 increase from 10% reached more than 20% throughout the period.
Percentage
Correct article usage
The percentage
show examples
 of Art gallery visitors dropped suddenly from 40% in 1985
just
Change preposition
to just
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 under 10% by 2010.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • technological advancements
  • digital divide
  • accessibility
  • ubiquitous computing
  • smart home devices
  • telecommunication
  • multi-purpose gadgets
  • innovation
  • connectivity
  • obsolete
  • trend analysis
  • consumer electronics
  • statistical data
  • percentile growth
  • demographics
  • chart interpretation
  • gadgets
  • integration
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