IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You have lost your student ID Card. This has created some problems for you. Write a letter to the director of student service. Write: Advise them of yout situation; Explain how this is affecting you; Request a new card

#student #id #card #director #service #yout #situation #request
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Hello, sir/madam. I am Ravi Patel.My student
ID
 number is 123456rk. I am a student of veterinary
collage
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college
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in
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at
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 your university. I am writing
this
 letter to make
request
Add an article
a request
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 for
new
Correct article usage
a new
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ID
card
 because
unfortunate
Correct article usage
an unfortunate
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 incident happened
last
 week when I was working in the cafe. My pocket
stolen
Add a missing verb
was stolen
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 by someone during
late night
Add a hyphen
late-night
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 working hours.
Additionally
, me and my friends tried to find it but we couldn't succeed.
Furthermore
, I can not use
library
Correct article usage
the library
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 and computers for upcoming exam preparation as
ID
Correct article usage
an ID
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card
 is compulsory for entry.
Moreover
, I have to
submite
Correct your spelling
submit
synopsis
Correct article usage
a synopsis
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 of my research project within
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 week. 
Thus
, I desperately needed
ID
Correct article usage
an ID
show examples
card
 as soon as possible. To add on, I am ready to pay
penalty
Correct article usage
the penalty
show examples
 and extra cost of
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
ID
card
. I apologise for
inconvenience
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the inconvenience
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 and hope for your positive
responce
Correct your spelling
response
. yours faithfully, Ravi Patel.
Submitted by dr.ravibgondaliya786 on

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task achievement
Your letter effectively addresses the key points required by the task: informing about the lost ID card, explaining how it's affecting you, and requesting a new one. However, you could strengthen your task response by providing a bit more detail on each point.
coherence cohesion
To improve logical structure, make sure each paragraph clearly focuses on one main idea. For instance, one paragraph could strictly discuss the loss of the ID card, another the impact on your studies, and a final one on the request for a new card.
coherence cohesion
To enhance clarity, consider using linking words and phrases to connect your ideas better and indicate the flow of your letter more clearly.
task achievement
Your tone is polite and appropriate for this type of formal letter, which is very important in the IELTS exam.
coherence cohesion
You included both a greeting and a closing, which contributes to a well-rounded and complete letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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